Who is responsible?

Who is responsible?

Tim Connor

Let me begin with two simple and yet often ignored basic premises – you are responsible to people but not for them and you are responsible for yourself and your life’s outcomes, circumstances and situations (a concept that many people today are either ignorant of or just refuse to honor as they live each day).

Make poor choices and decisions and you will pay the price.  Yes, you can blame all you want but in then end – you made them.  And yes, I understand making good decisions or choices when under pressure of some kind is difficult and challenging (I’ve done it numerous times) but again - in the end – life is a neutral concept – it lets you make choices but it also insists that you will inherit the consequences.

Everyone wants a stress free life as the weeks and years flow by one after another with inner peace, prosperity, success and happiness. This is a normal life outlook; however it doesn’t take into consideration the realities of life with all its dramas, frustration, disappointment, failure and mistakes.

So what’s the answer to this simple idea of responsibility?  Trust me I could go on for pages and hours if we considered the millions of people who live every day of their life in blame, denial, finger pointing and a sense of entitlement.  But I will save you my ranting and raving and leave you with a few things to consider.

1)  We all make mistakes, do dumb things and make poor decisions sooner or later.

2)  We have a choice – we can learn from them and move on or we can remain stuck in self-pity, self-absorption, anger, resentment or guilt.

3)  When you come from a mindset of blame you will seldom learn the lessons that life wants you to “get”.

4)  To see yourself as a victim is to wish your circumstances were to continue.

5)  When you refuse to take personal responsibility for your life circumstances you will only delay or even prevent their improvement in the future.

6)  Regardless of your life circumstances you always have choices.  You might not like some of them or feel they are less than ideal, but to feel stuck with no options is an immature life outlook.

7)  Negatives in life serve a valuable purpose.  You might not agree with this but consider – much if not all of the good you have in life is the result of previous responses to challenging situations where you chose to learn valuable lessons.

8)  The more you help others, the less you really help them over time and sooner or later they must face their lack of previous responsibility. And, the more others help you (no matter how much you believe you deserve it or are entitled to it) the same is true.

9)  Life is lived inside-out not outside-in.  When you live outside-in you always blame or point your finger elsewhere.  When you live inside-out you always take responsibility for both your negative as well as positive circumstances.

10) If you disagree with any of the above why not take a few minutes  

     and ask yourself – why?     

"People take different roads as they search for happiness, success and fulfillment. Just because they're not on your road

doesn't mean they’re lost." 

Yours Truly