The Value of Failure

If you are unwilling to fail . . .

Success will never be a reality!

Tim Connor

Everyone wants success regardless of how they define it. If this is true why do so many people search for it, try and achieve it, desire it and even dream about it yet never come close to achieving it? Let’s get a few things straight before we dig deeper into this topic.

-         Success means different things to everyone.

-         Success isn’t easy.

-         Success comes and goes.

-         Success involves risk

-         Success demands a willingness to fail

-         Success takes time.

-         Success takes work.

-         Success requires patience.

Yes, there are several more elements, but over the years I have discovered that most people, who say they want success, fail to accept one or all of the above principles.  Why is this?

There are as many reasons/excuses as there are people who say they want success.  But, it’s my belief that the major reason is simply that people don’t really know how to define success as it pertains to their life and what it will require.

You can be a parent, teacher, CEO, business owner, athlete etc – it doesn’t matter your station in life or your career or position – success requires effort, focus, commitment, staying power, self-belief, passion and a clear definition of what it means to you.

Think about it for a minute – if Edison feared failure would he have discovered the potential of electricity?  If Gates feared failure would he have built Microsoft?  If Ford feared failure would he have created the automobile?  If the Wright Brothers feared failure would they have discovered flight?  I could go on but I’m sure you get my point –

everything that exists today exists because someone was willing to fail and try again and again and yes, again.

It’s unfortunate, however that most people are so afraid of failure that they never accomplish what they want or realize their dreams.  They fear the opinions of others.  They fear the negative consequences.  They fear the uncertainty.  And they fear the unknowns, especially the potential negative ones that await them in the future.

I am not proud to admit that I have failed at more in life than I have succeeded but in the end to me it’s not about the outcome – whether I fail or succeed but the journey, the life lessons and the feelings of contentment that I have walked my own path into the future no matter how others felt, advised, criticized or cheered me on.

Life offers no guarantees.  Life is uncertain.  Life never turns out how we expect or even want it to.  It is full of surprises both positive and negative, mistakes that often in the long term turn out to be good for us or barriers we must overcome no matter how painful or enduring.

I won’t bore you with the tremendous number of failures, setbacks and mistakes I have made over the years – all I can say is they have only strengthened my resolve, purpose and willingness to keep on trying no matter how bad things were.

I have survived four recessions since beginning my speaking and writing career.  I have; files filled with rejection letters from publishers, goals not achieved and a bucket list that has more left to do than I have done but in the end for me, whenever that is, I can leave here with one simple certainty – I never let the fear of failure control me.  I never gave in to its attempts to derail me no matter how hard or bad things were.

You might say I’m nuts with this life outlook and you could be right but please keep in mind – this is my life and your life is your life.  Who or what, when you look back after all those years, do you want to say to yourself controlled you -   your parents, your spouse, your children, the economy, the government or friends or family?  For me when I look in the mirror I want to smile and say – regardless of how things turned out my destiny was up to me and my God and no one or nothing else.

What will be your final thoughts as you leave here?  Did you live your life dream or someone else’s?  Did you do all you could to make your life an adventure or did you let self-imposed limitations or those of others control you?  Did you let the fear of failure keep you stuck in mediocrity, wondering or denial?

Don’t die wondering.  We are here for a short time and then we are gone forever - refuse to see failure as the enemy but as a friend with your long-term best interests at heart.