Friday, September 29, 2017

Truth doesn't have versions.


Truth doesn't have versions -

The sky is falling - the sky is falling.  The earth is flat.  We are all going to die in this storm.  The end of life as we know it will happen this year.  Give me a break.  Just because the speed limit is 70 MPH - I don't have to go that fast.  Just because the expiration date on my eggs is three days past doesn't mean I have to throw them away.  Made my point yet or would you like twenty-five more examples (just kidding)?

Yes, I accept that some things I don't like or agree with are true but I also know that some things you believe are true are not - so - does the wind blow in both directions?  Well yes.  So, why then can't some people accept what is true when there is more than enough evidence and why do so many people live their lives in the realm of lies and ignore or deny obvious truths?  I don't have 200 pages to deal with this so I'll do my best with just a few words.

So, what is truth - truth is most often used to mean being in accord with fact or reality or fidelity to an original or standard. Truth may also often be used in modern contexts to refer to an idea of "truth to self," or authenticity.  Need more?  Want more?  Truth - fact, veracity, certainty, actuality, reality.  FYI - Truth isn't - opinion, impression, interpretation, estimation, judgment, belief, experience -  Got this one too?

Therefore, I have three questions -

1)   Why do people act like their opinions etc. are the truth?

2)   Why do people work so hard to convince others that their version of truth is the only one or the only one that matters or the only one that you or I should believe?

3)   How many facts (reality do we need) to know what is true or not true.

Is - gravity a truth?

Is - physical death a truth?

Is - the fact that change is constant a truth?


Is - the weather is crappy today - a truth?

Is - the service in this establishment is really bad - a truth?

Is - this "__________" (whatever) you believe - a truth?

Is - this technology is really slow - a truth?

Again - got it?

So, back to my questions.

Why do people act like their opinion etc. is the truth? Everything in life is a perception - the weather, time, health, food etc. In other words - This corn is too hot.  No, it isn't!  This movie is too long. Maybe yes and maybe no. That color is too dark. See where I'm going with this? Ever had an argument or disagreement with someone?  Sure, we all have.  What caused it?  Very simply - two different opinions coming face to face with each other - when only one could win but both were not necessarily true but you both believed that each of yours were true as far as the two of you were concerned. 

All conflict is the result of perceptual interpretation not necessarily based on truth and why - because truth does not have to be defended if it is real truth. When people can't let go of the need to justify opinions, attitudes, decisions, actions, feelings etc. that might be inconsistent with truth it is generally because of one of the following exists; the need for control, ego needs, arrogance, low self-esteem, insecurity or early conditioning that caused them to feel they need to get others approval in order to achieve self-acceptance and the way they do this is by being right or agreeing with them when they really don't.

Why do people work so hard to convince others that their version of truth is the only one or the only one that matters or the only one that you or I should believe or accept?  A lot of this stems from the previous discussion but for clarity I will add a couple of other items.  One is called projection.  

This is simply a refusal to accept a certain type of self-behavior and implying others of having the behavior that you have but refuse to acknowledge, admit or accept it.  In other words - "I am always late but can't admit it, but I always blame you for being late whether you are or are not."  

Another one is expanding on something or just making things up that aren't true.  I want others to think I am successful so I create a self-story that over time I come to believe as true.  Even if you know me well and know what I say about myself isn't true, I will still boast about these untruths as if they were true.  Actually, you would be quite amazed at how many people have this behavior.

How many facts (reality do we need) to know what is true or not true.

Well, if you see a lose wire coming from a generator you might want to avoid it.  If you see a red-hot grill you might not want to touch it.  How many facts do you need to avoid these disasters? Probably just one. If you want to know if Heaven is for real you might need a few more facts.  But here's the real issue when it comes to truth.  Some things, many things might be or could be true, but we don't know it because we don't have enough information to make a decision.  If this is true just because we lack evidence doesn't mean something is or isn't true.  Just because you don't believe in God - doesn't mean He doesn't exist.

Think about it. For years people believed the earth was flat until what - someone figured out that it wasn't.  But, many people continued to believe in this untruth because they lacked wisdom, knowledge or information.  The same is true today.  Could many things be untrue today that we just don't know are untrue but still believe they are?  And the opposite.  Could many things we believe are not true actually be true?

Saturday, September 2, 2017

How do you make important life decisions?

How do you make important life/career/relationship decisions?

Tim Connor

Few decisions in life are ever really easy.  In fact, some of them might appear to be easy on the surface or with a quick view or when we look at just the short term impact, but if we took the time to take a longer view of even the simplest decisions we might find that they have a bigger influence on our life than we might have considered if we had made them differently.

For example, there are many factors both short and long term that are impacted by our decisions such as; health, freedom, happiness, inner peace, long term success, relationships, self-esteem, self-value, financial freedom or status, career outcomes just to mention a few.  What we eat, what we drink, how much sleep we get, who we associate with, how we drive etc.

There are many factors that contribute to our decision process such as; the need for control, the desire for approval, the hope of security, the concern for our health, considering what others might think or how they might interpret our decisions, short and long-term commitments, previous decisions and their outcomes or consequences, emotional maturity, accurate information and our degree of wisdom and emotional control.  Need I go on?  OK, one more - instinct.

Let’s take a brief look at just a few of these to see if you are using them in an effective way to arrive at conclusions, research concepts that contribute to decisions or actual steps you take.

Let’s consider two critical areas first – the issue of consequences and the fact that there is little in life we can control.


All choices lead to consequences. Some of them are positive and some are negative. Some are short term whiles can take years to play out. We always have options and choices. We may not like some of them, but we always have them. The choices we are given present us with the opportunity to move steadily in the direction of a better way of life or the opposite as we move toward our destiny. If we chose wisely, we move smoothly toward this favorable destination. If we choose poorly, I guarantee that sooner or later we will be guided back to the correct or a more favorable path.

Each of us is responsible for the quality of our life. To point your finger at anyone or something in your environment other than yourself for your life’s outcomes is to live in frustration, anxiety, stress and denial. Each of us is free to choose any path. So, choose wisely today, for tomorrow’s harvest is planted today.

What consequences are you paying today as a result of past or previous choices, decisions or actions?

Please consider the following as you develop or nurture your decision approach.


Life will never be exactly what we want it to be or expect it to be. When you think you should be in control of anything – a project, a person, a situation, whatever – sooner or later, life is going to let you know that being in control is not what is important. What is - is learning to live happily and successfully without it.

Decision history

Have you ever reviewed and analyzed your past when it come to your decisions and their outcomes?  My experience and research tells me that most people don’t.  They just keep making decisions, dealing with consequences, moving on and repeating the process.  “New/different day, same stuff, same actions”. From personal experience, this is not an ideal way to live life expecting it to get better as the years pass.  You’ve heard it – “Expecting different results from repeated behavior is a mild form of insanity.”

Your decision process

Most people have a decision process but it’s more an auto-pilot process than a thoughtful one.  Something happens, they have options, they consider the short-term outcomes, they decide and they act or they – procrastinate and trust me – procrastinating is a decision.  A process means that you have developed a – repeatable, workable, successful and manageable approach or philosophy – doesn’t matter whether it’s in the kitchen making a new dish for your guests or it’s your heart surgeon preparing you as a patient for an upcoming event.  It’s all the same – you consider, you evaluate, you forecast, you plan, you act, you consider outcomes and then you repeat the process.  Simple? No.  Necessary? Yes, if you want better outcomes.

A few things you might want to consider –

-The future is never a guarantee no matter how perfect or right your decisions seem at the time.

-The future outcome is not a function of your history of favorable or wise past decisions.

-Outcomes can vary person to person with people who face the same issues and have to make the same types of decisions since we all interpret things uniquely and our environments vary.

-No decision guarantees that people affected by it will like it.

-The longer you wait to decide the greater the cost can be.

-Decision dysfunction (the inability to decide – no matter the issue) is common with people; who procrastinate, have a victim mindset, have low self-esteem or seek others approval.

-There is never a perfect time to decide anything.

-One of the best things you can do when it comes to decisions is to trust your “inner guidance system”.

Why not add a few of your own from your personal experience.