Can you let go or stuck holding on?
Can’t let go of something – a possession, relationship, career or a mindset or attitude? Welcome to the “I want to change something in my life club”.
You would be amazed at how many people are stuck in circumstances, relationships or careers that are invalidating, destructive or lack the things that they want in their lives - who accept them and settle and refuse to let go and move on or make positive changes. Why? Is it fear, insecurity, a give up mindset or something simpler? Or could it be a combination of the above and more?
First let’s look at what holding on looks like and then the advantages and yes benefits of letting go.
Holding on – First let me state that I have been guilty many times of holding on to something that I should have let go of so I am not preaching here as someone above the fray. But I have learned, painfully I might add, the consequences of holding on.
Holding on is similar to hoarding or the failure to release – anything, something or everything. It’s often an obsession that controls a person’s life in a negative way. We convince ourselves that what we have or desire is what we need, deserve, want or are worthy of regardless of its impact on the quality of our life – negative or positive. This is a form of denial and justification. It prevents us from stepping out and seeing what could be and accepting what is.
However, having said this there are times when God tests us to test our faith, resolve and courage. Having survived four recessions during my career and often been advised to throw in the towel in my career – I didn’t and I will never regret sticking with my decision years ago that speaking and writing as my calling and destiny. Having said this, I am not suggesting that holding on is always the best choice. Would I have been more successful at something else? Made more money than I have in my career? Who knows, but what I do know is that this decision always felt right no matter the circumstances.
Holding on can be both right or wrong or it depends. It’s never an easy choice or decision but in the end ask yourself – does holding on give me peace, joy and contentment or create stress, fear and other negative emotions?
Letting go is also never easy – memories, possibilities, unknowns and possible consequences as a result of starting over. Doesn’t matter whether it’s a relationship, career, business or where you live – you will never know what could have been if you don’t let go.
There’s an old saying – when a door closes another one opens however just because it opens doesn’t mean we should go through it or it is the best choice. Again letting go can be filled with uncertainty and opportunity but we have to be ready to deal whichever life gives us.
What I can tell you is that during my life, looking back, there were times when I wish I had let go and times when I wish I had held on – who knows. But there were also many times when letting go created opportunities for something better that I would never have experienced had I not had the courage to let go and face the unknown.
How about you? Holding on to something that it’s time to let go of? Afraid to let go due to a comfort level and some attitude that you are too old, too inexperienced or some other rationale that prevents you from starting over?
You will never know the consequences of holding on or letting go and that’s life folks.