Two steps forward – one step forward

Two steps forward – one step forward

Tim Connor

It’s a common saying – “Two steps forward, one step back.” How about a different approach – two steps forward, one step forward.  Let me explain.

There are two ways to interpret life’s circumstances regardless of when or how they appear in our life.  Circumstances are neither negative or positive – they are just circumstances.  I know, I know, you may be thinking I’m crazy.  Losing a job, a loved one or something we value is not a positive experience.  I beg to differ – what makes things negative is not what is happening at the risk of being redundant – circumstances or events do not have an agenda, personality or mission – they are events. How we define them is what gives them their meaning.

I have lost jobs, sales, loved ones – the list is endless and yes, in my early years I sometimes defined them in a negative way, but experience and learning have taught me I was wrong.  They are neutral events no matter how much sadness, grief, anger or disappointment we chose to feel.  Notice I said “choose” to feel.

Once an event has happened it is over.  What lingers within us are the feelings, emotions or thoughts that we choose to continue to experience.

So, back to the title (that is if you are still with me).

We plan, study, evaluate and work hard and things work out (two steps forward).  We plan, study, evaluate and work hard and things go badly (one step back).

How about a different mindset?  One step back can be another step forward if we will choose to find the value, benefits, lessons or learning in what we labeled - a step back.

Not easy, I know, but consider – every experience brings with it the ability to learn something, anything or an attitude of blame, fear, regret or anger.

When we bring a negative outlook to any experience we tend to define it as a negative experience.  However, I can give you hundreds of examples where people over time who experienced an event, labeled it negative and with the passage of time chose to redefine it in a different way.

The job loss that turned into a better job or career.

A divorce that enabled you to become a better you.

A loss of a business that allowed you to re-focus on what may have been missing in your life – family, fun, travel etc.

The loss of a loved one that caused you to live with greater purpose, enthusiasm or effort.

The loss of your health that forced you to rethink your life’s priorities.

I could give you dozens of examples, but I’m sure you get my points – we have a choice with all challenges, adversity or problems, even failure – we can grow learn, get better or smarter or we can remain stuck in a victim mindset.

My research over the years has proved time and time again that everyone who has ever accomplished anything of significance faced severe and even often constant adversity – things they didn’t want to accept or have to deal with, but the common denominator of each of these legends whether in medicine, technology, science, ministry, entertainment or education all handled them the same – with courage, faith, effort, resilience and patience.

Feel like you have recently taken a step backwards?  Taking one now?  See one coming around the next corner?  You have a choice – see it as a step forward, one that is necessary to take if you want to continue to prosper, succeed, grow or mature.

“All our dreams can come true if you have the

courage to pursue them.”

Walt Disney