What do you do
when you don’t know what to do?
Tim Connor
Feeling
stuck? Uncertain? Afraid?
Conflicted? Join the ever growing club
of good people who feel out of control whether it’s their business, career,
relationships, finances or just life in general.
I can’t tell
you how many times during my life I was at my wits end to know what to do when given
unexpected and often dramatic circumstances that I was unprepared for. What to do?
Will this work? Should I wait?
What if I..? I have tried everything and nothing is working.
Was it fear,
a lack of preparation or planning, ego domination or some other trait or
characteristic that was being tested?
What to do
now or next . . . a troubling position to be in hoping that things would get
better or at least not worse.
As a global
speaker and bestselling author for over thirty years I often didn’t feel like I
deserved the circumstances that I found myself embroiled in, but here they were
nonetheless.
What can we
do when we feel like we have nowhere to turn, no one we can count on or just
feel like – what’s the point? Well here
is what I have learned during my long journey, I hope some of the ideas might
help you if you feel like you are in a deep valley or just unsure of what your
next step should be.
-Talk to
people you trust and who won’t be judgmental, critical or invalidating. Be honest and share truth with them and
listen to their guidance. You don’t have
to do any of it but who knows, maybe something they say may open doors you had
not considered.
-Read more.
There are literally millions of resources available today and most of them are
free. But, don’t let money get in the
way, if you have to buy some resource – do it.
-Hire a
coach for a few sessions. Doesn’t have
to be a long term process. Again be
vulnerable, honest and forthcoming about your issues, challenges and/or fears
and uncertainty.
-Let go of
your pride, ego, arrogance or any other “self” trait that may be hindering your
progress or process into the future. This is often the hardest step for most
people, especially people who have a history of success and achievement.
-Do
something, anything, get moving even if they are small and inconsequential
steps. Don’t just sit and wait for
things to get better. They may but this can be a long term approach and what
might you lose in the process.
-Spend time
in honest and detailed self-evaluation of past and current traits, weaknesses,
tendencies, approaches, philosophy, mistakes, lessons learned and reasons for
all of these.
-Study the
lives of mentors, heroes or other people (alive or dead, failures or successes,
famous or unknown) and spend time considering their paths to greatness or to
self-destruction and look for similarities in your life, career, relationships
or business.
-Don’t
develop a victim mentality and beat yourself up until the scars and bruises
become permanent and life threatening.
Regardless of your current state you have previous skills, achievements,
successes etc. that will validate who you are.
-We all face
tribulations and trials sooner or later.
Accept them as simply things that have come into your life to help you
grow, learn and get better and wiser. No one who has ever lived and
accomplished great things whether an athlete, teacher, politician, clergy
member, parent, artist, musician or any other life role did it without facing
some form of adversity.
-And
finally, take full responsibility for your past, present and future. This is your life and you can do what you
want with it, but you have to work, believe, act and learn or you can sit and
blame, complain, feel self-pity or just useless. It’s a simple choice. We are all given years to live by God and we
can live them productively regardless of our roles or responsibilities or we
can give in to fate, circumstances or failure. But in the end, on your deathbed
– will it be - blame, regrets and a lack of mature responsibility or a smile
that you lived life to the best of your ability.
“This is a world of action and not for
moping
and droning in.”
Dickens
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