Thursday, May 15, 2014

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?



What do you do
when you don’t know what to do?
Tim Connor

Feeling stuck?  Uncertain? Afraid? Conflicted?  Join the ever growing club of good people who feel out of control whether it’s their business, career, relationships, finances or just life in general.

I can’t tell you how many times during my life I was at my wits end to know what to do when given unexpected and often dramatic circumstances that I was unprepared for.  What to do?  Will this work?  Should I wait? What if I..? I have tried everything and nothing is working.

Was it fear, a lack of preparation or planning, ego domination or some other trait or characteristic that was being tested?

What to do now or next . . . a troubling position to be in hoping that things would get better or at least not worse.

As a global speaker and bestselling author for over thirty years I often didn’t feel like I deserved the circumstances that I found myself embroiled in, but here they were nonetheless.
What can we do when we feel like we have nowhere to turn, no one we can count on or just feel like – what’s the point?  Well here is what I have learned during my long journey, I hope some of the ideas might help you if you feel like you are in a deep valley or just unsure of what your next step should be.

-Talk to people you trust and who won’t be judgmental, critical or invalidating.  Be honest and share truth with them and listen to their guidance.  You don’t have to do any of it but who knows, maybe something they say may open doors you had not considered.

-Read more. There are literally millions of resources available today and most of them are free.  But, don’t let money get in the way, if you have to buy some resource – do it.

-Hire a coach for a few sessions.  Doesn’t have to be a long term process.  Again be vulnerable, honest and forthcoming about your issues, challenges and/or fears and uncertainty.

-Let go of your pride, ego, arrogance or any other “self” trait that may be hindering your progress or process into the future. This is often the hardest step for most people, especially people who have a history of success and achievement.

-Do something, anything, get moving even if they are small and inconsequential steps.  Don’t just sit and wait for things to get better. They may but this can be a long term approach and what might you lose in the process.

-Spend time in honest and detailed self-evaluation of past and current traits, weaknesses, tendencies, approaches, philosophy, mistakes, lessons learned and reasons for all of these.

-Study the lives of mentors, heroes or other people (alive or dead, failures or successes, famous or unknown) and spend time considering their paths to greatness or to self-destruction and look for similarities in your life, career, relationships or business.

-Don’t develop a victim mentality and beat yourself up until the scars and bruises become permanent and life threatening.  Regardless of your current state you have previous skills, achievements, successes etc. that will validate who you are.

-We all face tribulations and trials sooner or later.  Accept them as simply things that have come into your life to help you grow, learn and get better and wiser. No one who has ever lived and accomplished great things whether an athlete, teacher, politician, clergy member, parent, artist, musician or any other life role did it without facing some form of adversity.

-And finally, take full responsibility for your past, present and future.  This is your life and you can do what you want with it, but you have to work, believe, act and learn or you can sit and blame, complain, feel self-pity or just useless.  It’s a simple choice.  We are all given years to live by God and we can live them productively regardless of our roles or responsibilities or we can give in to fate, circumstances or failure. But in the end, on your deathbed – will it be - blame, regrets and a lack of mature responsibility or a smile that you lived life to the best of your ability.

“This is a world of action and not for moping
and droning in.” 
Dickens


No comments:

Post a Comment