Whatever
happened to good ole common sense
Tim Connor
The more I observe people today - from
politicians, parents, business leaders and everyone in society, it amazes me
how few people seem to have any common sense at all. One of my mentors and
heroes Mark Twain was famous for saying - "We need to stop calling it
common sense. This assumes that it is common and everyone has it. We need to
start calling it un-common sense because so few people seem to have it."
This was said over 100 years ago by a common man. Yes, he was famous by today's
standards, but a common man he was.
When I observe the behaviors, attitudes,
decisions and actions today of teenagers, parents, business leaders
- I could
list every profession and every station in life here, but I'm sure you know at
least one person where common sense seems to have left them at birth, I find it
hard to believe so few people have simple common sense.
What exactly is common sense? Let me try
and give you what I feel is a common sense definition, but first how about a
professional definition. Sound practical judgment derived from experience
rather than study. Or, words like - rational, reasonable, consistent, coherent,
valid, logical or sound. OK, it's my turn.
Common sense is when you see a situation,
decision or action in a way that loudly says - yes - both in the short and long
term this is a good or the best course of action. It doesn't matter what other
people think or believe as their beliefs and attitudes are derived from their
unique and varied sources of mental conditioning and upbringing. Common sense,
when all things are considered is the only way to proceed based on a variety of
factors; experience, knowledge, information, wisdom, objectives, potential
hazards, real opportunities and an internal emotional comfort level. It's a
state of mind similar to intuition, instinct or a hunch where it just feels
right. But beware - if you proceed only based on feelings or emotions without
considering some of the other factors above, you might just set yourself up for
disappointment, frustration or even failure.
Some people would assume that the older
you are the more common sense you would develop. WRONG. Some people would
assume that the more education you have the more common sense you would have.
WRONG. Some people would believe that the more experience you have had, the
more common sense you would develop. WRONG. Some people that the smarter you
are, the more common sense you will have. WRONG.
So why do so few people today seem to
operate from a position of little or no common sense whatsoever? Well, from my
perspective there are a number of reasons. Here are some of the most common
ones:
- Personal agendas. Everyone has agendas.
Some are noble while others are very self-serving or selfish. An agenda is
nothing more than a life outlook or a mindset. But, this outlook, whether
positive or negative will tend to have a significant role in how you behave,
treat others or interpret life in general. It will often control all of your
actions, choices, decisions and behaviors. A self-serving agenda will cause you
to override what may be right or you feel is best for you alone.
- Poor perceptual understanding. Everyone
sees life uniquely through a very personal mental filter. Something good for
one person can be perceived as bad for the next person. It isn't about what is
right or wrong or good or bad, but how each of us interprets the people and
events in our life. Your personal filter will determine how you react or
respond to life, people or circumstances. If your filter is cluttered with a
great deal of past negative situations and outcomes you will tend to let these
drive your behavior and not what makes sense given the current set of
conditions.
- A history of mistakes, failure or errors
in judgment. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes or poor decisions from
time to time. The problem happens in the present when we let these memories
have greater control over our present than what is really going on now. When we
focus on either the past or the future and not reality, we will tend to bring a
dysfunctional view to any circumstances therefore overriding what would seem to
be right based on what is really going on now.
- Fear in general. There are only two
emotions - love and fear. Fear tends to be the dominant emotion in most people
most frequently. If you have a choice to feel hope or discouragement, joy or
pain, acceptance or non-acceptance, because of the way the human brain is
wired, most people will more often come from a fear position than one of love.
(Not talking here about romantic love.) When you operate out of fear you will
tend to critique your options, choices or circumstances in a pessimistic way.
Common sense, the best or right thing to do, will be present, but it will be
overridden by all of the fear threats and concerns.
- A concern for what or how others will
think of them or about them. Many people who fail to use common sense are often
more concerned about how others; view, define or feel about them or their
behaviors or decisions than the person has or feels about themselves. I want
you to like me, but me liking me is more important than you liking me. If I am
being true to myself I may not make right decisions all of the time based on
common sense, but at least I am making them for my reasons and not yours.
- Ego dysfunction. The ego wants to rule
our lives. It doesn't like to look bad and it certainly wants to play a major
role in all of our choices, actions and decisions. When common sense and ego
are at odds - ego will win most of the time. It doesn't care what makes sense
or is in your present or future best interests - it must rule your life it must
make you look; good, smart, competent, successful etc. Common sense be damned -
is its mantra.
- Greed, selfishness or narcissism. Greed
is the number one cause of all crime and the need to own more, have more or do
more whether we deserve it or have earned it. Greed speaks volumes when it
comes to how people behave either overtly or subtly. Greed, if it drives you,
will always override what is best or right for you or for others. Selfishness
is nothing more than a self-centered way of looking at life. It is about what
you get, have or own or who you are and how you behave towards others and life
in general. Selfishness says - I am the only thing that matters, life revolves
around me so just get on board and with me or you are against me. Narcissism is
nothing more than excessive self-admiration and self-centeredness. In
psychiatry, it is a personality disorder characterized by the patient's
overestimation of his or her own appearance and abilities and an excessive need
for admiration. Think these people will ever come from a position of common
sense?
- Stuck in the past or future. The past
with all its failures, mistakes, successes and achievements is gone. Living in
either will cause a person to not see current circumstances in the proper
perspective. Yes, both are important - past lessons and experiences as well as
future goals and plans, but in the end what you do now matters more than what
you will do tomorrow or have done in the past. Common sense blends the best
from both yesterday and tomorrows and weaves them into appropriate and
beneficial behaviors, actions and decisions now.
- The inability to turn information and
knowledge into wisdom. Information is not wisdom. Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is the ability to use information and knowledge in a right way given
reality, potential outcomes, historical experience and personal objectives.
When a person lacks common sense I don't care how many degrees they have, they
will do dumb things for the wrong reasons and often regret them later in life.
- Emotional immaturity. No one matures at
the same pace or rate. Each of us learns or fails to learn valuable lessons as
we move from one year to the next in our lives. Emotional maturity is the
ability to see or view circumstances in a way that you use your experience,
wisdom, intuition and the available information at hand. A lack of emotional
maturity is nothing more than a knee-jerk reaction to whatever happens,
regardless of how stupid the action or decision is. No matter what, in our own
mind we justify these often stupid behaviors and or actions.
Yes, there are many others, but if you
feel you lack a credible amount of common sense and this lack is causing more
pain than necessary, why not consider the above causes in terms of how you
live, make decisions, interpret life, evaluate others or just go from day to
day in your life.
I believe if we all had more common sense
or used more of what we have we would experience far less stress,
discouragement, frustration, anxiety or any other negative emotions due to
life's uncertainty and adventure.
Want to gain more common sense or use more
of what you have more often? Pay attention to the above items and stay focused in
the present.
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