Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Good Days...Bad Days



Good days….bad days
Tim Connor

Ever had a bad day? A good one? Welcome to life.

We all have our share of good days and bad days but in reality how each of us defines good and bad will vary. Win the lottery and most likely it's a good day. Lose your job and for most people this would be defined as a bad day. But wait a minute - what if after you lost your job you finally embarked on a new journey in a career that you have dreamed about? So yes the day you lost your job was a bad day but in the end, looking back, wouldn't you agree that it was a good day.

So, you won a million bucks in the lottery and went on a wild spending spree and before you knew it, you had spent it all and were now left with more debt than you can handle. So the day you won was a good day but again in looking back with what you know now, was it really a good day?
As I'm sure you are aware, good days and bad days can depend on a number of factors both present and future.

So, what's the problem here?

Unfortunately people who have bad days will often stay stuck mentally in the inner torment and ultimately fail to achieve the potential good that awaits them. And vice versa.
Now, I'm not saying that all good days are really good and all bad days are really bad. If you lost a loved one due to accident or illness that that would really qualify as a bad day no matter what and if you got a promotion that launched you into wealth and success that would really qualify as a good day.

Now that I have your attention let me get the three major points of this article - are bad days really bad and good days really good, what determines whether they are? And thirdly are you letting your days determine the quality of your life or are you determining the quality of your life regardless of whether you are having a good or bad day?

The definitions of good and bad (not using a religious or spiritual definition here and I'm not referring to evil when I use the word bad) can vary depending on any number of factors. The point is that bad for one person won't necessarily be perceived as bad by another and good for one person will not always be defined as good by someone else.

Everyone perceives all of life's circumstances uniquely, based on their conditioned mental environment, attitudes, experiences, history, personal philosophy and mindsets. All I want to establish at this point is that the concepts of good and bad are not always clear cut or specific. There are always degrees of good and bad and these variances will contribute to a person's view or definition of them.

Now that we have the above points established let's discuss our three main points.

Are bad days really bad and good days good?

Why are some days good or bad for people? Is it their expectations, agendas, fears or hopes that contribute to their interpretation of life's events? All of these are factors and yes, many others, but these are the vital ones. When you want or expect something to happen and it doesn't, it's natural to be disappointed, but the real question is do you let this disappointment determine your overall response to the circumstances or events you didn't want as you go through the moments and other circumstances of your day?

Fear is the number one negative contributor to a person's interpretation of events or circumstances that occur as they live their life. The ability to control these fears is critical to stay focused on what is good and positive in your life.

So whether a day is a good day or a bad day in a sense has nothing to do with what happens (yes there can be a few major exceptions) during your days but how you choose to view them or interpret them given your goals, plans, desires and ability to respond in an appropriate way.

What determines what they are?

There are degrees in everything including - good and bad. Being told you have a life threatening illness vs. discovering that your car has a mechanical problem are two potentially negative experiences if you choose to see them that way. But consider, if you are told you have a life threatening illness, but you can change the out come if you change your lifestyle. Couldn't that in the end turn bad news into good news if you choose to see it that way?

You were just told you are being offered a huge promotion with a tremendous increase in compensation - a good thing right? However, to accept it requires you to move half way across the country, something that will have a tremendous negative impact on your family situation? So, could this really be a bad thing rather than a good one? Life happens and in the end how we interpret the circumstances of each day will often determine their ultimate good or bad for the long term.

Let's wrap this up with - what is controlling the quality of your days - your days or you?

We all have choices every day as to how we will handle each of life's issues whether positive or negative. We can celebrate or whine, we can stay stuck or grow and we can bring optimism or pessimism to what crosses our path. In the end the quality of our life depends on our outlook, attitudes, mindsets and whether we want to take charge of our days or let our day's events determine our attitudes and responses.

No one gets all good or all bad in their life, but the thing to remember, as I have said, what is good for one person could be bad for another and vice versa. In the end it isn't what our days bring to us that really matters when it comes to the quality of life, but how we re-act or respond to them.

A person, who feels like a victim or stuck, will tend to bring this mindset to each of life's situations while a person who wants to take charge of their life, even though what comes to them isn't what they wanted or expected, will find a way through the maze of difficulty, discouragement, despair or failure.

So let me leave you with a simple question - are the events and people in your day controlling your life and its outcomes or are you determining the quality of your life and future with a simple philosophy - no matter what comes to me I will make the best of it and be grateful that I am alive.

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