. . . Emotions . . . Are they working for or against you?

. . . Emotions . . . 

Are they working for or against you?

Tim Connor

It’s an age old question – do your emotions drive your behavior or does your behavior follow your emotions?  Ever thought about it?

Rather than try and answer this question I am going to give you some ideas to consider and then you can make the decision for yourself.

There are two fundamental emotions – love and fear – all others are just related to these in some direct or indirect way.  For example – fear can be the foundation for – guilt, resentment, anxiety, frustration, impatience, anger or jealousy.  Love on the other hand can be demonstrated with – happiness, inner peace, joy, calm, serene, bliss or cheerfulness.

The key point I want to make is that behavior and emotions are connected. Whether one precedes the other or causes it is not the question at this point but rather – which emotions generally guide your action, decisions or behavior?  Are they grounded in fear or love?

For example – when trouble strikes as it always does in some way frequently in everyone’s life is your first reaction a fear or love based emotion?  Or, is your fear or love based emotional state causing the problem that you are experiencing?

Let’s say you are a worrier (a fear based emotion) and your constant worry about something (financial security, health or a relationship) causes you to continually focus on what could go wrong.  Well one of my favorite quotes by Homer is “Circumstances do not determine the person, they reveal who the person really is.”

My original question was - do your emotions drive your behavior or does your behavior follow your emotions?  Getting a hint so far as to which may be ruling your life day by day?  No?  Ok another example.

Let’s say you just lost your job.  You react.  Do you react with gratitude and peace (that when a door closes another one – often a better one – opens) or is your immediate response one of fear?

In the examples above I have illustrated the two options – either your emotions cause or contribute to your outcomes or your outcomes contribute to your emotions.  Regardless of which drives your life - the key thing to keep in mind is that when negative (fear based emotions are running the show) things will seldom turn out well or as hoped.

As humans our first reaction to any challenge or uncertainty is – fight, flight or freeze.  This initial response comes from the oldest part of your brain what is referred to as the Reptilian brain.  The younger part of your brain is grounded in love and its relatives.

The best way to always come at any situation regardless of the threat or potential outcome is with an attitude of appreciation.  When you can do this (and I know it’s not always easy) you give yourself the opportunity to view circumstances or situations in a more positive (love based) way.  In the end, regardless of the challenge, this is the best way to confront any issue regardless of its potential either positive or negative.

There are hundreds of books that have been written in the past 100 years that corroborate this position but I’ll leave you with one of the classics by Maxwell Maltz written over 50 years ago – Psycho-Cybernetics – Read it.

Or, you can find numerous quotes on this topic in the Bible – Read it too!

“The flocks fear the wolf, the crops the storm

and the trees the wind.”

Virgil