The
greater the challenge – the better the learning.
Tim
Connor
Facing a challenge today?
Welcome to life 101. The question
is what do you do with it? Or better
still, how do you feel about it? Or, if
you are really mature - what can you learn from it. I’m sure with this opening I have already
lost some of you. Tired of useless,
motivational mumbo jumbo from people who think they know it all but don’t have
a clue just spouting inspirational words they think we need when what we really
need are practical ideas to use challenges as a learning tool? Believe me - I teach this stuff and I can
tell you I am tired of pontification from too many famous people.
So, let me begin with a few basic premises if you are
still with me so you can decide if you want to finish this article.
-Failure is necessary for real and lasting success.
-Most people do whatever they can to avoid failure.
-Problems, hardship, trials etc. are normal – no one is
immune.
-When you stop learning you stop growing.
-When you stop growing you start dying.
-All success is first and foremost a mindset.
-Everything that comes at us does so to teach us.
-All our reactions to everything in life are driven by our
perceptual interpretations.
Need more?
-If you are not risking you are not failing and if you are
not failing you are stuck.
-Change is constant and people don’t resist change - they
resist losing control.
OK, enough of this - now to the key point - why, when and
how can we learn to deal with hardships, challenges, adversity, failures,
problems etc. to use them as learning tools and resources?
There are many ways people both interpret and respond to a
variety of life’s challenges or trials.
Actually, many people don’t even call them challenges but opportunities
but more on that another time, for now let’s just stick with how we respond and
why and how we can respond if we choose to.
Challenge – question, disagree
with, dispute, take issue with, protest against, call into question, object to.
See how we can choose to even define the
word differently? For example, what I am
referring to here when I say challenge is not the above definition but a –
test, trial, difficulty, struggle etc.
But I’m sure you are well aware of how words can often be defined
differently by different people depending on how they choose to or decide to
define them.
But, I digress.
There are basically only three ways to
define, deal with or interpret a challenge – denial, acceptance or
rejection. And, depending on your
definition or interpretation – this will determine your reaction and then
potential consequences. For example:
Denial – just because you choose to deny
something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Rejection – just because you reject
something doesn’t mean it won’t persist.
Acceptance – just because you accept
something doesn’t mean it is solved or dealt with in a positive, creative or
constructive way.
You see, there is more to the idea of a challenge
than just your initial response. What
really matters is not just how you define them or your initial reaction to
them, but your attitudes about how you will let them influence your life now or
in the future. It’s about keeping
control of your life or giving it up to others or outside circumstances. By this I don’t mean to imply that there are
some situations that we can’t control but even in all of these we still have
the power of self-reaction or self-control if and only if we choose to exercise
it.
There are consequences to the three
reactions above.
Denial – they will tend not to go away or
never return. They will need to be dealt
with sooner or later – sooner being the better of the two options.
Rejection – you can resist and fight all you
want but it’s just reality – life happens and it wants to teach us. Life is not
fair or unfair. It doesn’t pick on or
reward certain people. Wealth won’t stop
cancer. Fame won’t stop a potential
accident. Good looks won’t prevent
loss. Get it? I don’t care how well off you are - no one
and I mean no one regardless of wealth can prevent aging. Oh, sure you can invest a lot in surgeries to
make you look better on the outside but trust me – you are still fading on the
inside
Acceptance from my perspective is the best
option or approach and why? Well, you
are on offence and not defense for starters. But the most important thing is you have chosen
to take control of something rather than give up control.
I hope you weren’t looking for a list of
do’s and don’ts when it comes to challenges.
Sure, I can give these to you if you want – just shoot me an email and
I’ll be happy to give you my list.
What I have tried to do with this article is
to ask you to start thinking about how you approach challenges and the impact
they have on your life. I hope I was
able to create a positive inner dialog.
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