Real life begins at the edge of your comfort zone

Real life begins at the edge

of your comfort zone

Tim Connor

Why is it that some people live with a risk mentality and others always play it safe?  For the people who play it safe - is it fear of the unknown, the need for control, impatience, ego needs or some other rationale or mindset? Let’s talk about your comfort zone and its impact on your future.

What is a comfort zone?  My perspective is that it is only acting, deciding or moving only where you feel you can control outcomes, consequences or circumstances.  In other words – you don’t invest in financial markets, you don’t try new tasks or hobbies, you don’t take vacations to new locations, you are afraid to start new relationships etc.  You just go with what you know or feel offers little or no uncertainty and yes emotional comfort.  Well let me tell you – the only thing that is certain in life is its uncertainty – so if this is true and believe me it is – why do people stay stuck in what they know, feel, believe or think even though they live with an inner urge to change, try or do something new or different? 

Here are a few of the common ones – risk avoidance, low self-esteem, insecurity, out of control fear, off the chart egos, arrogance, the need for approval and a pessimistic mindset.

Risk avoidance – life is risk – period.  The only way to avoid risk is to die.  Everyone defines risk uniquely according to their comfort zone but what if your comfort zone is grounded in safe or how you define safe and what if your definition of safe is wrong, outdated or just plain stupid?

Low self-esteem – when you lack belief in yourself you will tend to always play it safe avoiding anything that might disrupt your sense of balance or emotional stability.

Insecurity – insecurity is a lack of self-trust and if this is one of your guiding principles you will tend to avoid risks of any kind simply because you think you are not worthy.

Out of control fear – if you fear something, anything you will always only do what you feel will always turn out positively.  If you feel there is any chance of failure, mistakes, criticism or problems you will settle, avoid and stick your head in the sand.

Off the chart egos – a large ego wants to always look good to others, therefore you will have difficulty admitting mistakes, failures or situations where you might look weak or inadequate.  You may take risks but only when you believe or are confident they will turn out well.

Arrogance – arrogance is a close cousin of pride and pride can never admit weakness. So if something new potentially puts you in a position of risk you will blame, point the finger or go into a state of denial.

The need for approval – if you always need the approval of others sooner or later you will discover that when you constantly live with this as your guiding principle or mantra you will eventually lose yourself and become a combination of traits that you feel will never put you in jeopardy of rejection.

A pessimistic mindset – pessimist’s always see the negative no matter how positive anything can be.  These folks can’t admit to success, achievement or anything positive so when they take any kind of a risk they need an escape plan or something or someone to blame.

So, having said all this why live outside your comfort zone?  Well, I could go on for pages but here are just six reasons – they will give you -

Greater confidence

New friends/relationships

More fun

More positive memories

New adventures

New skills

Let me close with two simple questions – are you living outside or inside your comfort zone in some area of your life? Why or why not?