Life’s three essential choices

Life’s three essential choices

Tim Connor

You might think life has more than just three choices and you would be right but the three I want to share are simply some of the biggest ones we will ever make.  They are – change it, accept it or leave.  Let me explain.

Whether it’s a career position, a business, a client, a boss, a relationship or circumstances often we tolerate people or circumstances longer than we should or are even necessary.  There are numerous reasons why we put up with these kinds of situations or people, but in the end the price we pay for staying too long can have a negative impact on our attitudes, self-esteem, life outlook and future opportunities.

Let’s say you have a supervisor who invalidates you, doesn’t respect you and is always criticizing you unnecessarily – got the picture?  You have three choices when it comes to this person – change them, accept their behavior or leave. 

Now I’m not suggesting that you throw in the towel quickly or easily but in the end is staying in this situation longer than necessary hoping they will change or improve or would your future and life be better served to just accept that they are who they are and you will just have to deal with them. 

However, if you can’t change them and you can’t bring yourself to accept their behavior as it is wearing you down and having a negative impact on other areas of your life or relationships – well the only other option is to leave.

Personally I have put up with bad bosses on a few occasions in my life and just decided I would rather go broke working for myself than get wealthy working for someone else.  Again I am by no means suggesting that you should do the same as I have done as each of us has our tolerance levels for other’s poor behavior but when you are staying longer than you know you should for the wrong reasons – you know it in your heart.

How about a personal relationship?  Let’s say you have been dating or married to someone for several years and you just can’t deal with their pessimism, intolerance, nagging – whatever - and it’s starting to affect other relationships at work, with friends or even total strangers – so you have a choice – you can try and change them – good luck.  But, if you can’t and putting up with their issues is wearing you down emotionally, spiritually or even physically then your next option is to just accept who they are and how they behave knowing that they will not improve or change.  But, if accepting them or it is beyond your level of values, tolerance, compassion or understanding all you have left – you got it – leave.  Again, I’m not suggesting that as soon as someone behaves badly or upsets you that you should walk away from the table however you have to decide the consequences of staying too long or leaving.

I might add that the biggest times of stress in your life are when you can’t change something or someone but you refuse to accept them or when you can’t accept them and you won’t leave.

So, there you have it – change it or them or accept it or them and if you can’t do either your choice is deal with it without complaining and whining or leave.