Can you let go or stuck
holding on?
Can’t let go
of something – a possession, relationship, career or a mindset or
attitude? Welcome to the “I want to
change something in my life club”.
You would be
amazed at how many people are stuck in circumstances, relationships or careers
that are invalidating, destructive or lack the things that they want in their
lives - who accept them and settle and refuse to let go and move on or make
positive changes. Why? Is it fear, insecurity, a give up mindset or
something simpler? Or could it be a combination of the above and more?
First let’s
look at what holding on looks like and then the advantages and yes benefits of
letting go.
Holding on –
First let me state that I have been guilty many times of holding on to
something that I should have let go of so I am not preaching here as someone
above the fray. But I have learned,
painfully I might add, the consequences of holding on.
Holding on
is similar to hoarding or the failure to release – anything, something or
everything. It’s often an obsession that
controls a person’s life in a negative way.
We convince ourselves that what we have or desire is what we need,
deserve, want or are worthy of regardless of its impact on the quality of our
life – negative or positive. This is a form of denial and justification. It prevents us from stepping out and seeing
what could be and accepting what is.
However,
having said this there are times when God tests us to test our faith, resolve
and courage. Having survived four
recessions during my career and often been advised to throw in the towel in my
career – I didn’t and I will never regret sticking with my decision years ago
that speaking and writing as my calling and destiny. Having said this, I am not suggesting that
holding on is always the best choice.
Would I have been more successful at something else? Made more money
than I have in my career? Who knows, but
what I do know is that this decision always felt right no matter the
circumstances.
Holding on
can be both right or wrong or it depends.
It’s never an easy choice or decision but in the end ask yourself – does
holding on give me peace, joy and contentment or create stress, fear and other
negative emotions?
Letting go
is also never easy – memories, possibilities, unknowns and possible
consequences as a result of starting over.
Doesn’t matter whether it’s a relationship, career, business or where
you live – you will never know what could have been if you don’t let go.
There’s an
old saying – when a door closes another one opens however just because it opens
doesn’t mean we should go through it or it is the best choice. Again letting go can be filled with
uncertainty and opportunity but we have to be ready to deal whichever life
gives us.
What I can
tell you is that during my life, looking back, there were times when I wish I
had let go and times when I wish I had held on – who knows. But there were also many times when letting
go created opportunities for something better that I would never have
experienced had I not had the courage to let go and face the unknown.
How about
you? Holding on to something that it’s
time to let go of? Afraid to let go due
to a comfort level and some attitude that you are too old, too inexperienced or
some other rationale that prevents you from starting over?
You will
never know the consequences of holding on or letting go and that’s life folks.
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