Life's Basics

Life’s Basics

Tim Connor

Life is not easy, but it doesn’t have to be difficult either – so why the paradox?

There are common reasons why people struggle during their life and then there are the opposite of these traits or attitudes that contribute to people’s inner peace, happiness, success and contentment. What are the most common reasons why people achieve the positive benefits of life regardless of what they face during their years?  There are many, but here are what I believe are the basics.

Patience – Patience is the opposite of the need for control.  It is demonstrated with compassion, understanding and tolerance.  By this I don’t mean to imply that patience is accepting the negatives of what we can control, but knowing that we can’t control everything and others.  Sooner or later we will experience intolerable people and circumstances that send us over the edge, but the answer is to realize that we are always in control of our own reactions and responses unless we allow others or circumstances to control us.

Optimism – There are only two ways to look at life with all its disappointments, frustrations, challenges, problems and failures that we all must deal with and that is to see the good or the bad, the positive or the negative and the blessings or the drama in each experience, experience or outcome. Evidence and medical research has demonstrated for many rears that people who have an optimistic or positive life outlook get sick less, live longer and live happier lives.  And the opposites are true for people who bring pessimism and a negative outlook to the same circumstances.

Faith – Faith is not always easy, if it was we would all experience it all of the time.  But faith is critical when it comes to uncertainty, unknowns and circumstances that push us to our emotional, physical and psychological limits.  Faith is simply a belief that good, better or what God wishes for us and our life and future is coming and that all we need to do is believe that life always happens for His purpose and good and that our role is to trust Him and do the best we can with what He allows.

Courage – There are two types of courage – physical and emotional, but the ingredients in both are the same – confidence, belief, nerve and the will to overcome and not give in or up.  We all need courage at certain times in our life due to – the loss of a loved one, a scary situation, the unexpected change in our career status or just speaking what we believe when we know it might not be accepted or liked by others.

Effort – Nothing is ever achieved without effort whether a beautiful garden, the success of a new business, a relationship that stands the test of time or sticking with an exercise or weight loss program.  No effort will always equal disappointment, unrealized expectations and often failure.  You don’t have to work 24 hours a day at any of these efforts or others, but you do need to bring discipline, consistency and often sweat to the process if you want success or a favorable outcome – nothing good comes to us without effort whether physical, financial, emotional or spiritual.

Responsibility – Responsibility is just the acceptance of outcomes or circumstances that our decisions, actions, thoughts and behaviors have caused.  Failed at something – don’t point your finger at others.  Got a challenge or problem – deal with it.  Don’t like an outcome – learn from it. Life not treating you with fairness – life isn’t always fair. Don’t like the way someone is treating you – walk away.  Don’t like being sick, poor or alone – do something – anything – whatever you can to manage it, overcome it or accept it.

Acceptance – We all know people who are difficult, self-absorbed, controlling, unkind or just not nice.  We all have circumstances that come into our life that we wish we didn’t have to deal with. We have a choice – we can turn our lives over to them or we can take charge and make the best of whatever we face.  Not always easy, but if you want to live a life with peace and happiness you will have to learn to accept what you don’t like or want.

“What we do not understand, we do not possess.”

Goethe