Are you making a difference

Are You Making a Difference?

Tim Connor

Everyone can make a positive difference in the world and you don’t have to be famous, wealthy or the smartest person in the room.  Every day each of us touches the lives of others; friends, family, co-workers, customers and total strangers. Have you ever considered how many people in life you interact with each day in some way?  The question is do you have a positive or negative impact on the people whose lives you touch?

What does it mean to make a difference?

Everyone sooner or later struggles with challenges, problems, disappointment, discouragement, failure and loneliness whether a resident in the local nursing home, a server in your local restaurant or just someone you pass on the street.  Everyone at some point in their life needs words of encouragement, validation, support and even just a friendly hello or smile.

Making a difference is using your experience, knowledge, personality, resources, energy or compassion and understanding to help a fellow traveler who crosses your path with acknowledgement, friendship, a listening ear or some words of encouragement.

None of us wants to go through life alone without the closeness of someone we care about or who we hope cares about us or even appreciates us.

Why make a difference?

We are all here for a short time and we can leave behind so much or so little – the choice is ours each moment of each day – will we and how will we make a difference?.  How do you want to be remembered?  As a person who cared or was self-absorbed?  A person of kindness or apathy?  A person of inclusion or exclusion?  Know someone who is so self-focused that they are totally unaware of the pain, grief, sadness or loneliness someone close to them is experiencing?  Know someone who just ignores the needs, hopes and dreams of others?  Know someone who spends time and money only on themselves?

Each of us can leave behind a better world even if only in our family or community, but making a difference often requires just simple acts of kindness from time to time – from holding a door open for someone, letting them merge into traffic or just letting them share their fears, hopes or dreams with you without your judgment.

How can we make a difference? There are many ways, but if you will implement any of the following they will go a long way in help someone go through a difficult time in their life.  Yes, there are others, but I feel these are the vital ones.  They are not in any special order.

Words of encouragement – Words of encouragement are simply an expression of awareness, consideration and compassion.  They are shared without any agenda.  Their only purpose is to help people overcome a sense of loss of hope, despair or discouragement.

Acknowledgement – Acknowledgement is just awareness and acceptance that someone is facing a difficult time or challenge.

Friendliness – We all need a network of friends, people who are there for us in times of need who bring no expectations or personal gains to the relationship.  They are just there for us when we need them.

Compassion – a feeling of sympathy for someone, who is in a bad situation, because you understand and care about them.

Understanding – Understanding is a non-judgmental approach to any situation whether you agree with it or not or like it or not.  It is a time of acceptance without the need to influence the other person.

Validation – Validation is when you contribute to another person’s sense of value.  This is done by a variety of techniques like; listening, being on time, honoring promises and commitments and not bringing the person down in an emotional way.

Support – Support can take many forms including - emotional, psychological, financial and physical.  Support systems are a necessary aspect when a person is facing negative circumstances and needs an individual or group of people who believe in them and want to help them in some way.

Courtesy – Courtesy is the act of getting out from behind yourself and not feeling the world revolves around you and all that matters are your needs, agendas or desires.

Charity – This one is simple. You are either a generous person to those in need regardless of their circumstances or you tend to be on the selfish side of life when it comes to giving – your time, your energy, your experience or your resources.

Kindness – Kindness is a fundamental in all successful human relationships. You are either a kind person and not selectively with certain people, but with anyone who crosses your path. It can include manners, guidance, and any of the above.

And oh so much more if we will only just stop now and then, get outside of ourselves and express our humanity and love in an appropriate way to those who would benefit from it.

“The most exquisite pleasure is giving pleasure to others.”

La Bruyere