If you can’t handle the valleys you don’t deserve the peaks.

Over the years I have considered the fact that I have spent a great deal of time in life’s valleys; times of discouragement, frustration, anxiety and have often wondered why.  What was I doing wrong that allowed me so little time to view life from its peaks?  But then during one of my epiphany days, it occurred to me, the way a person defines both valley’s and peaks have a great deal to do with their perspective, attitudes, and lessons while experiencing any life situation or circumstance.

Exactly what is a valley?  Is it when life isn’t giving you what you say you want, or you think you deserve?  Is it when you are worse off than others you know?  Is it when your life is just going down in flames and you haven’t a clue as to why?  Is it when all your Facebook Friends are busier and doing more fun stuff than you are . . . or, is it really a time of life when it is important to pay attention, learn and grow so that when you leave the valley you will be better equipped to enjoy the peaks?  My early perspective was the former and it took me many years and a lot of time in the valleys to finally change my definition of them.  As I have put more years behind me, I have discovered that the times in the valleys have helped me a great deal when I was fortunate to see life from a peak.

What is the peak, really?  Is it when life is good?  When all you desire comes to you?  Is it when there is no pain, failure or adversity?  Or, is it a time when you can get too relaxed, confident and even arrogant about what you have, who you are and where you are heading?

Many people in history have made their greatest contributions to life and their fellow man while in life’s valleys.  And a lot of people who have enjoyed many years on the peaks have contributed very little.  They just took and took.

I can recall hating the valleys and longing to leave them hoping for some relief from the pain and despair that were my everyday companions.  I can also tell you that life from the peaks without arriving there having spent some time in the valleys will be of little value and joy, if getting there didn’t require some valuable lessons learned in the valleys.

Here’s my point if you are still wondering.

Don’t spend your time in the valleys whining, complaining or blaming.  It’s a waste of time and energy.  And believe me, everyone sooner or later will visit one of the many valleys in life.  If you have never been in one or are not in one now . . . keep the vigil my friend for it may be just around the next corner ready to pounce while you are happy and carefree even arrogant enjoying life from one of life’s many peaks.

I’m not being negative – trust me – but I have learned that no one escapes a few valleys sooner or later.

If you have paid the price of time in a valley never forget its lessons and learning.  I’m not suggesting that you wallow or stay stuck in the past but that you never become so overconfident thinking “you have paid the price, it’s clear sailing from here on.” As a sailor, I can tell you – you never know what the wind can do to you if you are not prepared.

And please keep one thought in mind, the lessons learned from the valleys make the time you get to spend on the peaks so much more gratifying, joyful and filled with peace.

PS: If you’ve never been in a valley – it’s coming . . .

Take the - Leadership/Self-evaluation Quiz

Leadership Self-evaluation/Personal 

Scoring Quiz ©

Have you ever wondered how your employees or customers define you vs. your self-definition?  Got the courage to find out? It’s simple process - rate yourself on a 1-10 scale on the following items: (1= Poor/none/no - - 5 = Average/yes & no/sometimes - - 10 = Perfect/always/yes) that will take less than ten minutes of your time but could give you enlightenment you have never achieved or realized.  Once completed - - give the same blank evaluation to your employees, customers – whoever you would be interested in knowing the scores they would give you and ask them to rate you. The rest is easy – compare results to see how you are doing in terms of consistency, congruence, awareness and/or interpretation.

1)    Communication consistency ____

2)    Example setting ____

3)    Integrity/ethics ____

4)    Leadership style ____

5)    Personal Accountability ____

6)    Respect for others ____

7)    Ego control ____

8)    Arrogance management ____

     9) Positive culture contributors ____

   10) Personal performance consistency ____

   11)Trusting others ____

   12) Demonstrated respect for others ____

   13) Empowering management style ____

   14) Communication clarity ____

   15) Honoring your word ____

TOTAL SCORE: _______

Compliments

Tim Connor, CSP – timspeaks4u@gmail.com

704-875-1230 – timconnor.com

Is there a single word that describes you . . .

What’s the one word . . .

Tim Connor

Have you ever considered what one single word describes you – your values, beliefs, choices, decisions, actions, behaviors, attitudes, etc.?

Let me explain.

Regardless of whether it’s relatives, friends, customers, employees or even total strangers where you had a short but meaningful interaction – if asked – what’s one word they would use to describe you, what would it be?

Yes, I know this might sound silly and even impossible but work with me for just a few minutes.  Tim, how can we limit our entire life with all its experience, lessons, interactions, etc. to just one word – that’s impossible. OK, so what if I said you could have two words or a complete sentence or even an entire paragraph – any easier???  I’m guessing no and why?

I just can’t do it you say, summarize my entire life with all its years of experience into a few words.  OK, I agree, but just for a minute try it, what word would you most want others in your life (everyone) use to define or describe you; fun, arrogant, playful, serious, dedicated, self-centered, honest, stupid, caring, egotistical – I could go on with a couple of hundred thousand words but I’m sure you get my point with just a few.

So, here’s the test – I want you to create a list of 12 words that you feel in your opinion overall best describes you – write them down. 

Now I want you to ask many or most of the people in you’re a simple question – “What one word would you use to describe me and/or my life. You don’t have all day so what one word comes to mind quickly that you feel is a representation of me and my lifestyle.”

Write them down.

Now I’m sure you have figured out the next step – right?  No, OK, how many of the words you wrote down were used by others?  AND – was there one or two that were most dominant either that wasn’t on your list or were?

Tim, what is the point of this entire exercise?  I have a lot on my plate.

Simple – is who you think you are what or who others (some, many or all) think you are and if not – why not?

Try it – it might be fun but I’m sure it will be enlightening.

Thoughts and life outcomes - a few questions

Thoughts and life Questions

The mind is your life’s control tower – is it working for you or against you?

Thoughts = life = attitudes = actions = outcomes.  Don’t like some of the outcomes you are getting in any life area . . . consider the following . . .

Where are my thoughts leading me?

Where do I want my thoughts to take me in the future?

Do my thoughts fit who I am – who I want to be – do what I want to do?

Are my thoughts helping me become who I want to be?

How are my thoughts impacting those around me?

Are my thoughts building me up or tearing me down?

Where did my current thoughts come from?

Why am I thinking these thoughts?

How do these thoughts make me feel?

Why am I continuing to think these thoughts?

What do I need to do to change my thoughts?

Am I willing to do the inner work to change my thoughts?

Want more questions like these – order my “Life Questions Manual” on my website;