Just because it feels right - doesn't make it right.

Just because it feels right –

doesn’t make it right!

Tim Connor

You would be amazed at how many people let their feelings rather than common sense or reality determine their attitudes, behavior, and decisions.  Now, I’m not implying that all feelings are not appropriate or don’t have value when it comes to life and career choices and actions but in a world driven today by so many emotional circumstances you might just want to pause or even check your feelings at the door before you make serious decisions or react or respond to various situations.

Let me give you a couple of real examples that I have witnessed in the past several days while on the road speaking in several states.

Flying back from Oklahoma a few weeks ago, the gate agent seemed to be in a depressed mood.  They just weren’t very friendly, accommodating or interested in my question. So, being who I am I tried to make them laugh with a simple and straight-forward comment (innocent and non-threatening in any way). Well – they jumped all over me with “Who do you think you are talking to me that way?  I don’t have to put up with your crap. I can’t believe anyone could be that insensitive.”  Etc. Etc.

Needless to say, I ended the conversation and headed back to my seat and opened my book and started reading.

While eating lunch at a restaurant I overheard the couple behind me give the server the “you better or else” treatment because they didn’t bring the bread to the table fast enough.  They then complained to the manager (where everyone within earshot could hear) about the experience and saying the person should be fired.

Ever had anyone blow up at you when what you said or didn’t say or did or didn’t do that was as kind, compassionate, simple etc. that even someone from another planet would not interpret incorrectly but they did?

Folks, just because you are in a hurry and behind me in line doesn’t mean I have to rush the person in front of me.

Just because it’s raining, and you don’t like rain doesn’t mean I have to listen to your ranting and raving about rain.  Just because I am an insensitive idiot doesn’t mean you have to put up with me and don’t have the right to walk away or leave the room.

But, it doesn’t help when we “lose it” regardless of the importance or lack of it in any situation.  And believe me, we are living at a time when a lot of folks have really thin skin or any number of rules, expectations or guidelines as to what is acceptable or even allowed currently in today’s world according to their values, beliefs etc. no matter how far out of reality they might be.

Don’t believe me?  I have over 3000+ articles on a variety of various global websites and add several new ones each week and believe me – I get at least ten emails a day from someone around the world who takes issue with what I have said or how I have said it.  Get over it . . .

Trust me – I’m not implying that I am right, the smartest person in the Universe, the most experienced, the best at anything or even smarter than you – but I do have the right to share my opinion, idea, comment – whatever – and yes you have the right to comment back to me about it – but let me ask you – do you really think you help your cause by making it (your disagreement with me) public to everyone – everywhere?

When we let our feelings – which are nothing more than internal emotional expressions of beliefs, values, attitudes, expectations, rules etc. shared in an external way – we might want to consider that the person in front of us, behind us or even next to us, just is not interested in our ranting, raving or our opinion.

I have seen more people on social media sites share personal stuff that I just can’t believe that they would want out there in public.  Do you really think most people care that you were dumped? Do you think most people care that I am lonely, angry, frustrated – whatever?  Yes, maybe a few close friends, relatives or maybe even co-workers or clients might care or have an interest – but the whole world?

Do you really need that much attention?  Are you really that insecure?  Are you really that needy?  Are you really that narcissistic?

We all have life issues, challenges, problems, disappointments, failures, losses, frustrations etc. But do you really think the entire world gives a crap about all of your stuff?

Again, it’s simple – if you don’t like my article – stop reading.  Throw it away. Delete it - whatever.  If you don’t like the movie – leave.  If you don’t like the TV show - use the remote.  If you don’t like the noise in the restaurant – leave.  If you disagree with someone on a social media site – delete them, unfriend them, unfollow them.

It’s not that complicated.

If I care, I care and if I don’t I don’t.  If I do it’s because you and I are emotionally connected in some way.  If I don’t that doesn’t make me disrespectful, uncompassionate or any other negative emotional response.

There is an incredible amount of pain and suffering everywhere in the world today.  I’ve seen it in every one of the 45 counties I have spoken in or visited. Hunger, death, pain, loss, suffering etc. is rampant everywhere in the world and even in our country. I can’t be there for everyone, but I can be there for the people that matter in my life or I know personally.  This doesn’t mean I am not aware or sensitive to all of the global, national or community pain and wrongdoing but none of us have the capacity to spend our time and life just feeling for what everyone around us is feeling or experiencing while disregarding our own lives.

I don’t care if it’s the ASPA, St. Jude, Shriners or Savelives.com.  I can’t be there for everyone and everyone can’t be there for me.

I don’t know about you but the continuous expression on social media by people who feel they are experiencing unique life challenges that the rest of us have never had to deal with – well, trust me – I’ve been there and so have you.