How do you want to be remembered?

How do you want to be remembered?

Tim Connor

Please – I’m not being morbid – just asking a simple question.

Trust me – the years pass much more quickly than most people realize or are willing to accept.  I don’t care your chronological age as that is not the determining fact as to when you will check out of here so back to my question – How do you want to be remembered after you are gone?

First of all, who remembers us and why depends on many factors; our relationships (family, kids, siblings etc.), careers (customers, fellow workers, bosses etc.), where we lived (neighbors, friends, acquaintances etc.), and yes even a few total strangers that might have crossed our paths quickly and briefly.

Then there are our actions (things done and not done), behaviors (good, bad, stupid, thoughtful, selfish, kind, egotistical, compassionate etc.).

And of course, there are our words (things said and not said, kind words or hurtful words etc.).

And how about our beliefs attitudes, prejudices and opinions (did we always have to be right or could we accept mistakes, were we always talking, or did we ever listen and care, could we disagree without anger or validate others for who they were, did we live with a spiritual foundation or did we assume there is no God etc.).

Yes, there’s one more - our goals, desires, dreams, and plans.  Did we include others or exclude them, did we rely on others or did we always go it alone, did we give credit when it was due or always keep it for our selves, did we share our victories or assume we deserved all the benefits regardless of other’s guidance etc?

OK, I hope I have made my point – there are numerous factors to who will or will not remember us, why they will or will not remember us and what they will remember us for - if they do.

I’m going to generalize a bit so hang in there with me.

There is an ancient Native American legend that states ‘you will only get into Heaven leaning on the shoulders of someone you helped while you were on earth.’

Regardless of your opinion of this statement consider – if you helped no one in any way – what are your chances?  If you helped one hundred people – go for it.

As I go through my last life chapter I have spent a lot of time considering this question and is it too late to change what those who were in my life - for many years or even a few minutes – will remember about me or even care.

Ever wondered how many people will attend your funeral?  Full house or a lot of empty seats?

You’ve heard it I’m sure – It’s never too late to make a new first impression.  Does this rule also apply – It’s never too late to change your legacy?  I don’t have a clue but what I do know is how you live your life while you are here become the guidelines for your legacy or how, why, if, when etc. you will be remembered.

I’m not referring here to all those famous folks like – Billy Graham, Mother Teresa, Babe Ruth or Henry Ford etc.  I’m talking about us normal folks who are doing our best to live a life of dignity, happiness, success, compassion, and love rather than fame and fortune.

So, here’s a thought – make a list of all the people in your life that matter – current or past, relatives or friends – get it – anyone or everyone.  Now, write down the words that you think each one of them might use to describe you, your legacy or what you meant to them while you shared life with them if they were giving your eulogy. Got the courage to do this?  If no, why not?  If yes, go for it. 

And here’s a final thought if you can handle it.  Now share the words, memories etc. you wrote down with each person and ask them for their response (agree, disagree, like, don’t like etc.).