Say good-bye to survival mode

Say goodbye to survival mode

Tim Connor

Ever been in survival mode?  I know I have a few times during my life, but in looking back I have to wonder, why did I allow these negative thoughts dominate my present moments often in a destructive way?

Survival – (a definition) the fact of remaining alive or in existence, especially after facing life-threatening danger, or of continuing in a present position or office.  That really doesn’t do it for me.  From my perspective - it’s going from day to day or even moment to moment wondering if you could handle another disappointment, challenge, failure or just the continued uncertainty and your opinion or view that you didn’t think you could.

Why do we allow circumstances to dictate how we go through our life? Why do we give control of our attitudes and behavior over to others or situations that on the surface appear devastating, but when we look deeper they are almost always due not to what is happening, but to our perception or interpretation of what is happening?  The answer to this is far to long for this article, but let me share instead some things we can do to get out of survival mode and into daily thrive mode.

First, we have to accept that adversity is a normal part of life.  No one escapes life without trouble, problems, trials or failure. These are as much a part of life as happiness, joy, peace, achievement and success if we will but learn to accept what life brings to us moment by moment and day by day.

I am not speaking lightly here of the loss of a loved one or a catastrophic illness, but many of the everyday challenges that just come with being alive.

Second, we need to learn to control our attitudes and not let circumstances dictate our reactions or responses.  I know this is not always easy, believe me, but if we are to live a contented and rewarding life - it will require that we take control of ourselves and let go of the need to permit others or circumstances to control us.

Third, we need to develop mindsets that keep us focused on what is possible and not what is not, what is good and not what is bad (keep in mind that all of these are just our perceptual interpretation of events, circumstances and people).  I’m not talking here about unbridled optimism but the ability to see reality for what it is without letting the fears that are often normal reactions to perceived negative situations determine our ability to address, manage or overcome these unknowns or unidentified events that cross our life path.

Fourth, we need to learn to surrender to situations that we have no control over while not losing heart, faith, hope or courage in spite of them.

And finally, fifth, we need to learn to trust; God, ourselves, life and the simple fact that all things sooner or later happen for our good.  They may not have seemed so while we were in the throes of a negative circumstance, but I’ll wager that as you look back over your life, that many of the negatives that happened in the past, that after years of maturity, time, growth and understanding are now defined differently and more often than not, positively.

We can’t change the past or control the future, but we can learn to live life each moment with courage, faith, trust, optimism and confidence and yes, thrive.

“Refusal to hope is nothing more than a decision to die.”

Bernie Siegel M.D.