Detour Ahead

Detour Ahead

Tim Connor

You’re headed to an important meeting and running a bit late and up ahead you see a sign that says - DETOUR AHEAD. You’re first thought is Oh crap; I am going to be late. Ever been in that situation? We all have at one time or another – maybe not a meeting, but something important that we need to be on time for. What are the options?

Drive right on through the detour hoping that the road doesn’t end badly causing us to have to turn around and go back towards our original starting point.

Take the detour hoping it won’t add more time to our trip causing us to be late.

Just sit there wondering what to do.

Forget it; I didn’t want to take this trip anyway.

What are the consequences of all four and what should our decision be? But first – what does this have to do with life in general and how we move from day to day through the uncertainty, disappointment, failure and fears that plague so many people every minute of every day and have a negative impact on their success, happiness and circumstances?

Think about it for a moment – facing a detour now in your life? If so, welcome to Life 101. Every day we all face detours whether – career, business, relationships, financial, health or just living from day to day.  But, in the end our options are the same as the four above.

Option one: Drive right on through the detour hoping that the road doesn’t end badly causing us to have to turn around and go back towards our original starting point.

Ever done this? Hoping that all would end well? I know I have, letting my impatience or need for control to just ignore the warning sign.  Ever charged ahead through a situation in life where the warning signs were clear and evident hoping you could master or overcome the ruts or blocks you faced?  And the consequences were???

Wasted time? Stress? Frustration? Disappointment? Anger? Regret? See the analogy here?  No?  Ok, here’s an example.

Decided to start a new career position or new business, but the signs were very clear to not take the next step or hold on patiently waiting for something better, but you took it anyway – timing isn’t right, not in your best interests, it’s just a temporary desire, I have no other choices, it doesn’t feel right, I’m settling, pain in your gut, council from others you trust against taking the step etc.

And the outcome was; continued pain and struggle, more disappointment etc. I’m sure you are getting this so I won’t belabor the point further.

Option Two: Take the detour hoping it won’t add more time to the trip causing us to be late.

OK, so you are not a rule breaker and followed the sign’s instruction and direction. But, you kept stressing about whether it would cause you to be late taking your focus off your driving and suddenly you recognize that you are lost.  Need an example?

You are in a stressful relationship (work or personal) and you decide that you have to follow the rules and do what you are told and when all the while gradually losing your self-esteem, confidence and inner peace while you keep wondering stressfully – should I stay in the relationship or end it?  You decide to stick with it because that’s what the signs tell you to do – follow the detour and hope.

How is that working?  Stress going away?  Disappointment getting less?  Feeling good about yourself?

Option Three: just sit there wondering what to do.

Waiting and hoping it all gets better without any positive or disciplined action.  Ever done that?  I have and every time I did, looking back, I always asked myself – why, why didn’t I do something, anything.  Waiting without some form of strategy, action plan or simple behavior change is not the best way to handle any uncertainty, adversity or challenge.  Yes, you want to take the right action and/or do the best you can, but doing nothing until things improve or change for the better, isn’t a wise or mature approach

Option Four: Forget it; I didn’t want to take this trip anyway.

Well, all righty-then, just give up and throw in the towel. Sounds like an effective way to live life, wouldn’t you say?  Life isn’t easy and never will be.  It is and always will be filled with adversity, problems, challenges, failure and any number of negative or fearful; emotions but the answer in my opinion should never be to quit regardless of the circumstances or challenges or possible outcomes . . . you never know!!!

So what’s the right approach or answer?

Next time you face a detour (challenge, problem, adversity) in life – just consider your options and their potential consequences and then act in a mature, timely and confident way.  What other choice to do you have?  Well, you can default back to options one through three above.

“I know we will continue to make strides. 

Call this a detour, if you will.”

Wolverton