Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Wake Up and Pay Attention -before it's too late



Wake Up and Pay Attention
Tim Connor

In one of my favorite books, Wake-Up Calls by Eric Allenbaugh - he discusses a simple yet vital life aspect and that is simply paying attention to each of the lessons life is trying to teach us moment by moment and day by day so we can avoid the larger negative consequences that can occur later when and if we ignore these often subtle and little details and messages.

What is a wake-up call (as Eric explains) and how can we learn from them?

Our outside an inside world constantly send us signals – some are subtle while others can be like a 2X4 across our forehead but in the end their purpose is the same – to teach us lessons, to get us to pay attention or to alert our awareness about things that need to change in some way.

A wake up call can be anything from – a driver cutting you off on the high way to a pain in your lower back.  These signs in the early stages, where something in your life needs to change, can be annoying at best but in the end if we fail to pay attention to the small or little signals and fail to learn, grow or make the changes necessary – trust me – the signals will just keep on coming – and as time passes depending on the issue or challenge – these signs will tend to increase in frequency or their impact – from a lower back pain once in a while to persistent back pain.

Life wants us to be happy, successful and live with joy or peace and if we fail to achieve these it’s usually because some change needs to take place in our life or lifestyle.
I’m sure you know someone who seems to be on a relentless path to self-destruction - I know a few people like this.  At one time in my life I too was headed down the wrong path and life kept nudging me little by little.  One of these nudging led me to Eric’s book in a small bookstore in the mountains of North Carolina.

I was just browsing through the store as I do a lot and something kept telling me to bend down and look at the bottom shelf.  When I did I saw dozens of books but my sight was drawn to his book.  I picked it up, browsed through it and then put it back on the shelf.  But something inside me said to buy it and I did.  Ever had a similar situation and I don’t necessarily mean in a bookstore?

I’ll bet you have had many of these subtle signals – maybe to let something go, change something, go somewhere etc.  When you followed these urgings (and who knows where they come from) something in your life improved, changed for the better or something negative was let go of.

These happen to each of us multiple times each day.  Are they divine messages or something else?  I don’t know for sure but what I do know is that when I honor them things seem to work out and when I don’t well, the signals just keep coming and depending on the issue – a relationship, a career, a health challenge or a financial circumstance they increase in severity – basically telling me – pay attention or at some point in the future we WILL get your attention with a major catastrophe, disappointment or sever life situation.

Another of my favorite authors Eric Butterworth says it like this, “God’s law of adjustment regulates all of the affairs of my life.  All things are in divine order, now and always.”

Why do we ignore these little nudging as they show up in our life?
In a book I just finished, and I have added it to my recommended reading list is by Singer – The Untethered Soul, he goes into great detail, but with an easy to follow approach how our thinking determines what we pay attention to and what we don’t and why.
Let me briefly summarize the major reasons why we ignore these early signals – to our peril I might add if you skipped the previous section.

Ego – I am better than my circumstances.  I know it all.  I know what is best for me in my life. I am the smartest person in the room. I don’t need other people’s guidance, feedback, suggestions etc. I will do what I want when I want and how I want – period.  Know anyone like this?

Fear – If I change something - the unknowns in the future scare me.  What if I can’t handle them?  What if they don’t work out for me? Fear of other’s rejection.  What if the other person doesn’t like the way I dress, talk, drive, eat etc.  I need to be approved by everyone.  Know anyone like this?

Busyness – I don’t have time for this.  I have too much on my plate.  What I am doing is far more important than dealing with this distraction now.  I have so much to do – this can wait till tomorrow.  OK, know anyone like this?

Arrogance – I can handle this.  I don’t need to change or improve.  I am as good as I need to be.  It’s everyone else who needs to wake up. Who needs help anyway, surely not me?  OK I’ll stop asking the closing question – I’m sure you get the strategy by now.

Stress – When under stress or what can be called ‘panic mode’ we all do stupid things and make bad decisions as we want whatever is causing the stress in our life to just disappear. But, as a result of these stress related actions and decisions we just tend to make things even worse.

Impatience – The number one contributor to stress, disappointment and anxiety is a lack of patience.  Doesn’t matter whether it’s a traffic jam or the actions or lack of action by a friend, client, customer or loved one the outcome is the same.  Impatience says – I need and want to have control of everything and I need and want it now.  Believe me this is not a way to solve your issue with impatience.  Sooner or later we are all disappointed by something or someone.  Deal with it.

How can we tune in to these signals and have complete awareness of them?

There are many steps we can take but here are ten of them.

-Stay present – Life is now – not tomorrow or yesterday.  We can’t change the past and we can’t control the future so spending time in either place is wasted time.

-Let go – Surrendering to things that no longer matter but maintain an emotional control over us is stupid.  Be willing to admit and face and let go of stuff that wastes valuable present moments.

-Stop – If you don’t stop now and then and just listen – to life – to God – to your body – your feelings – you will never hear or be aware of the messages that are constantly being sent to you.

-Honor – Be willing to follow your inner guidance system’s messages.  They are there non-stop but you must be willing to honor and follow them if you want to avoid the path of self-destruction.

-Trust – We must learn to trust that which we have no power to control.  This isn’t always an easy task but one that will pay huge dividends in your life.

-Accept what is – It is what it is.  And it is what it is due to our previous actions, decisions, choices and behavior.  Yes, stuff happens but if we continue to resist and fight reality we will only bring ourselves more disappointment.

-Relax – Spend time doing nothing and I mean nothing. Maybe a walk in the woods, a time of thoughtless meditation or prayer.

-Turn off your negative mind – The mind thinks 60/24/7, it never stops.  And what it focuses on is either manifesting what we fear or what we love. If you want to turn off the negative influence of negative thoughts you must learn to focus and concentrate on the positives no matter what is going on in your life.

-Show appreciation – The best way to stay out of fear mindsets and pay attention to what is (and what you can’t control), is by learning to be aware of all of the times, circumstances and people who deserve a simple – thank you. Appreciation comes from a love (not romantic love) of self- life, others and just each moment you are given.

-Be willing to change – Change is constant.  We can either change for the better or we can change for the worse. Guess which one will best serve your life and future.  Change isn’t easy but we do it all day every day.  The key is to pay attention to the inner urgings that are trying to get you to change something and then guess what?  Change them.

“We create our fate every day we live.” 
Henry Miller


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