The Value of Pain

The value of pain

Tim Connor

No one likes pain: emotional, physical or spiritual pain.  Each of us wants to sail through life from birth to death without ever having:

-been betrayed.

-been abandoned.

-been lied to.

-failed.

-had insurmountable problems.

-risked it all and lost.

-been disappointed.

-And this list goes on and on and on.

I for one know the value of pain.  I have had my share during my life.  I know the pain of loss, failure, abandonment and all of the ones on the list plus a few.  You too have had some kind of pain, I guarantee it.  I don’t care how old or young you are - no one escapes this teaching tool that life uses to - soften us, humble us, mold us, take the arrogance or fear from us or just teach us there is a more for us to do in this life, and we can’t do it until our rough edges have been smoothed out.

Those of you who have reached this day without any significant pain in your life are missing - so far - a wonderful opportunity for growth.  Now, I am well aware it is difficult to convince someone that a divorce, loss of a loved one or a job or any other adversity is a blessing and an opportunity to grow.  However, having spent my life travelling through these many years and having the wonderful privilege of meeting thousands of people around the world, I have come to a conclusion:  sooner or later everyone who has experienced some form of pain, when they look back on it, agree that it was a time of testing, yes, but a time of growth and learning as well. Here are a few of the benefits of pain that I have learned over the years.   Pain:

1. Introduces you to who you really are.

2. Let’s you have a peek into the future.

3. Releases great creativity.

4. Begins the healing process.

5. Is a signal that something needs to change.

6. Helps you see that you have choices.

7. Gives you the opportunity to grow or remain stuck.

8. Is impersonal.  It isn’t picking on any one group or individual.

9. Develops in you the capacity to handle more pain in the future.

10. Helps keep you focused in the present moment.

Don’t ever deaden the pain you are feeling.  Get in touch with it.  Feel it. Understand it.  Learn from it.  Use it. And then move on through it. Then let it go.

Let me conclude with a lesson I learned from one of my mentors – Eric Butterworth.

When in the depths of financial despair years ago as a speaker and author he shared a simple lesson with me through his writing.  He said, “The greatest times of creativity in your life can come during periods of personal pain.  Use these times to release all that you are and all you can do.”

I have written over 75 books but after writing my first one in 1981 (Soft Sell – which today is still the number one best-selling book in the world in 25 languages) I wrote nothing for fifteen years.  After Eric’s counsel the flood gate opened and I have averaged writing 3-4 books a year.  Not all have come from periods of pain, but he showed me how to use all emotional states whether positive or negative, to use them in a positive way.

Experiencing pain today?  Use it for growth. His book that helped me is titled – ‘In The Flow of Life’ (It’s still in print.  Read it if you are going through any pain in your life.)

“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”

Gibran