The Risk, Reward Ratio

The Risk, Reward Ratio

Tim Connor

What is your attitude when it comes to taking risks?

Risk - possibility of loss or injury, someone or something that creates or suggests a hazard, the chance of loss or the perils of actions and/or decisions.

Every day we all take risks although most of us don’t look at routine actions in this way.  For example – when you drive to work and are traveling at seventy miles per hour aren’t you assuming that each mile you drive that someone behind or in front of you won’t hit you.  When you go out for lunch aren’t you assuming that the restaurant has clean and healthy routines for storing, preparing and serving your meal?  When you are admitted into a hospital aren’t you assuming that everyone follows the right procedures?  When you get on an airplane and travel at 400 MPH at thirty thousand feet are you assuming that the manufacturer built the plane correctly and the pilot is properly trained and professional? Etc.

Risk is a normal part of life, everyday life and yes I get it that the items I mentioned are not often a big deal when we define risk however, consider the many tragedies from plane crashes, food poisoning and auto accidents.  Yes, these happen very seldom when you consider the total number of planes that take off every day, the meals that are served nationwide every day and the number of cars that travel US highways every day. 

I mention these to ask you to consider how you define risk.

A new career is a risk.

Marriage is a risk.

Starting a new business is a risk.

Jumping out of airplanes is a risk.

Again – etc.

So what is risk really? It’s living.

Let’s briefly discuss the risk reward ratio when it comes to living each day.

Since all of life involves some risk whether minor or major before we take action it might be prudent to consider the risk reward ratio. The risks involved driving to work might be less than jumping out of an airplane but they are always present. The issue here is can we handle the various outcomes that are the result of our actions?

Ever had an auto accident?  Was it your fault or the fault of someone else?  Doesn’t matter - the consequences are the same assuming it was not a life threatening situation or caused you to lose the use of your car.

Insurance claims, estimates, arranging alternate means of transportation, inconvenience and maybe a doctor’s appointment.  The fault isn’t the issue here as you both will have to deal with the after effects or what I am referring here to as the reward.  If you haven’t figured it out by now the reward is not necessarily a positive thing as the actions caused by the accident are the rewards but are not positive.

The reward is nothing more than outcomes or consequences, so why not call them that rather than a reward?  I don’t know I thought this title might better get your attention.

In planning - before a decision and action we sometimes try and consider the rewards (consequences) but there is no way we can know the future in the present.  The future is unknown.

If you own a business or have started one I’m sure you have had a few surprises along the way you didn’t anticipate.  In hindsight, knowing what you know now (consequences) would you have still made the same decision?  Again this is pure uncertainty.  The answer – depending on the severity of the actions you plan to take do you spend adequate time considering as many possible consequences as possible.  This will never be 100% accurate.  You will always miss things, but the most important question you need to ask before you act is simply – “no matter how this turns out – am I OK with whatever consequences show up?”

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out
how far one can go."
T.S. Eliot

Thirty Minutes and Success and Happiness are Yours

Thirty Minutes and

Success and Happiness are Yours

Tim Connor

Don’t believe me – read on.

If you devoted just 30 minutes a day, focused on a variety of actions, attitudes and behaviors you can’t imagine the positive outcomes both short and long term.  Everyone wastes a great deal of time every day on any number of useless and often nonproductive activities. If they would just invest a simple thirty minutes a day concentrating on simple and productive actions they would be amazed at the progress they could make in a variety of life areas; relationships, health, wealth, career and life in general.

You can find thirty minutes a day - the problem is the willingness to devote this time in activities that will produce more successful outcomes than current behaviors or routines. Let me ask you - do you spend at least thirty minutes or more every day – in front of the TV, at your computer searching aimlessly for information that will not change your life, commuting to and from work, jogging, gardening etc?  I’m not implying that these and other activities are not worthwhile or valuable uses of your time and don’t often contribute to your success or happiness, but the question remains – if you spent just thirty minutes each day on specific actions that over time would specifically and directly improve an important aspect of your life – would this be a worthwhile task?  If yes, read on.  If no, don’t waste any more time reading this.

I have developed a simple approach to ensuring that each day of your life you make regular progress in the right direction toward your goals, dreams and desires.

Yes, we all need to improve our talent and skills.  Yes, we all need to spend time at work or on our businesses or careers and yes, we all need to devote time to our families and building relationships, but if you will follow the following process you will make significant progress sooner rather than later in all these areas.

So, what’s the process?

At the end of this article there are thirty actions I would like you to take or focus on each day for thirty days.  Here’s how it works.

Print off the list and individually cut each item from the list and fold them in half.  Now put the items in a jar.  Every day reach into the jar and pull out one item.  Focus on this item for thirty minutes before the end of the day.  Put the item aside and the next day randomly pull out the another item and just repeat the above process.

At the end of thirty days put all the items back in the jar and begin the process again.  I’m suggesting you spend just thirty minutes a day focusing on a single behavior.  Yes, you will go about the rest of your day as usual.  The only thing you have changed is that you are spending thirty minutes during a twenty four hour day on a specific action.

I also recommend that you start a thirty minute journal and at the end of each session take just a minute and record something, anything that you did, thought, felt etc. during that session.

What have you got to lose? Just try it for one month and if something in your life hasn’t improved – well, call me crazy, however if something in your life is better or has improved was it worth fifteen hours of your life in one month?  By the way you got a total of 720 hours that month – so that’s .02% of your time you spent on this process.)

Here are the thirty actions;

Read                    Think                   Slow down

Believe                  Feel                    Practice

Dream                  Learn                   Evaluate

Pray                     Try                      Help others

Be                        Create                 Let go of something

Question               Study                  Say thank you

Examine               Laugh                  Reach out to others

Connect               Share                   Listen

Forgive                 Plan                    Build someone up

“Frequently the difference between success and failure is the resolve to stick to your plan long enough to win.”

David Cottrell

The impact of projection on success and happiness

The impact of projection

Tim Connor

Consider for a moment – that your life (reality) is nothing more than your projection of who you think you are to the rest of the world. 

If you;

Are Bored – could it be that you are boring?

Are Confused – could it be that you are conflicted?

Are upset by others – could it be that you are an angry person?

Are Disappointed – could it be that your expectations of others are unrealistic?

Lack control – could it be that you are stubborn?

Are frustrated by others – could it be that you are a frustrating person?

Lack friends – could it be that you are not friendly?

Are Alone – could it be that you don’t like the company of others?

Stressed – could it be you need total control of everything?

Afraid – could it be that uncertainty and insecurity have control over you?

Etc. Etc Etc.

Projection is one of the defense mechanisms identified by Freud and still acknowledged today as a significant issue. According to Freud, projection is when someone is threatened by or afraid of their own impulses so they attribute these impulses to someone else. For example, a person in psychoanalysis insists that people can’t be trusted when in fact the patient can’t be trusted.

We all project at one time or another and this is normal in most people. 

The driver who drives you nuts when they cut you off, but you have been guilty of the same act.

The person who frustrates you because they don’t respond to an email immediately and you often wait before answering someone’s email.

The person who fails to listen to your every word when you are guilty of the same.

Again these examples are numerous.  So, why do we project and how can we better manage this tendency?

Projection is accepting reality, but denying responsibility.

Why do we project –

Ego? Arrogance? Insecurity? Low self-esteem? The need to be right? The need to impress others?  Fear of disapproval? Yes.

Each of these issues if you searched the internet for further information would give you thousands if not millions of resources or references – got that much time?  I doubt it - so briefly;

We project because we can’t accept personal responsibility for our; actions, behavior, opinions, mistakes, failures, words, decisions, consequences, disapproval, loneliness, emotional immaturity, lack of success, poor performance or poor communication (causing confusion, assumptions, misunderstanding and often conflict).

How can we better manage this tendency –

There are dozens of actions we can take to get better in touch with our need for projection and how to reduce its impact on our relationships, happiness, inner peace and success – here are just a few.

-Have you been even aware or conscious of the concept of projection up to this point or is this a new idea for you?  You do it - but you were not aware of how much, how often and with whom and its impact on your life and relationships and even your success.

-Pay attention to your actions and words as you live them and their impact on others and your life in general.

-Ask yourself – how do I feel when others project their issues on to me?

-Ask yourself – where in life do I feel inferior or not able to face my personal issues in a responsible way?

-Give someone you respect and trust permission to hold you accountable every time you project and bring these times or circumstances to your attention.

-Have a face to face private meeting with yourself and create a list of every area in your life where you feel insecure, unhappy, not responsible, ego driven, unsuccessful, frustrated, stressed or anxious.

-Consider therapy.

-Read more – my list of recommended books (other authors) have several books that can help with this issue. Email me and I’ll be happy to send you this list.

-Spend more time in reflection, meditation or prayer and ask the tough questions and wait patiently for answers that can come from a variety of sources.

-Find the courage to be honest with yourself about your needs, fears, hopes, dreams and desires.

-Analyze your difficult relationships and ask yourself a simple question – why is this relationship difficult?

This is enough to get you started.  Go for it, you will live a better and more rewarding and productive life. – I promise you.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”
e.e. cummings

Two steps forward – one step forward

Two steps forward – one step forward

Tim Connor

It’s a common saying – “Two steps forward, one step back.” How about a different approach – two steps forward, one step forward.  Let me explain.

There are two ways to interpret life’s circumstances regardless of when or how they appear in our life.  Circumstances are neither negative or positive – they are just circumstances.  I know, I know, you may be thinking I’m crazy.  Losing a job, a loved one or something we value is not a positive experience.  I beg to differ – what makes things negative is not what is happening at the risk of being redundant – circumstances or events do not have an agenda, personality or mission – they are events. How we define them is what gives them their meaning.

I have lost jobs, sales, loved ones – the list is endless and yes, in my early years I sometimes defined them in a negative way, but experience and learning have taught me I was wrong.  They are neutral events no matter how much sadness, grief, anger or disappointment we chose to feel.  Notice I said “choose” to feel.

Once an event has happened it is over.  What lingers within us are the feelings, emotions or thoughts that we choose to continue to experience.

So, back to the title (that is if you are still with me).

We plan, study, evaluate and work hard and things work out (two steps forward).  We plan, study, evaluate and work hard and things go badly (one step back).

How about a different mindset?  One step back can be another step forward if we will choose to find the value, benefits, lessons or learning in what we labeled - a step back.

Not easy, I know, but consider – every experience brings with it the ability to learn something, anything or an attitude of blame, fear, regret or anger.

When we bring a negative outlook to any experience we tend to define it as a negative experience.  However, I can give you hundreds of examples where people over time who experienced an event, labeled it negative and with the passage of time chose to redefine it in a different way.

The job loss that turned into a better job or career.

A divorce that enabled you to become a better you.

A loss of a business that allowed you to re-focus on what may have been missing in your life – family, fun, travel etc.

The loss of a loved one that caused you to live with greater purpose, enthusiasm or effort.

The loss of your health that forced you to rethink your life’s priorities.

I could give you dozens of examples, but I’m sure you get my points – we have a choice with all challenges, adversity or problems, even failure – we can grow learn, get better or smarter or we can remain stuck in a victim mindset.

My research over the years has proved time and time again that everyone who has ever accomplished anything of significance faced severe and even often constant adversity – things they didn’t want to accept or have to deal with, but the common denominator of each of these legends whether in medicine, technology, science, ministry, entertainment or education all handled them the same – with courage, faith, effort, resilience and patience.

Feel like you have recently taken a step backwards?  Taking one now?  See one coming around the next corner?  You have a choice – see it as a step forward, one that is necessary to take if you want to continue to prosper, succeed, grow or mature.

“All our dreams can come true if you have the

courage to pursue them.”

Walt Disney