Have you written your Obituaty yet?

Have you written your Obituary yet?

Tim Connor

I know the title might sound morbid – but give me three minutes before you decide to move on to your next task.  I am going to keep this short and to the point.

Life here is temporary regardless of your financial position, fame, age, reputation, gender, and education – plus many others - so the question is when you leave here and some person is appointed to read your obituary will it be something they wrote, a total stranger wrote, a loved one wrote or you wrote?

Let me explain.

If someone else, regardless of their relationship to you, writes and reads it - it will be their take on your life regardless of the number of years you had or how long they knew you and your accomplishments or who you really were and why.

So, let’s say a sibling writes it - would it be different than if a spouse or one of your kids wrote it?  How about if a close friend was chosen to fulfill the task – what would they say?  How about a business partner, boss or even a long-term loyal client or customer – and they would say . . .

The question really is – how do you want to be remembered regardless of who writes or reads it?  Do you want to be remembered by your status, personality, successes, attitudes or some other trait or action that you shared with the world while you were here?  Keep in mind we are asking someone to summarize your many years and activities, relationships and deeds into a 200-300-word document that may end up in the local newspaper for a day or on the internet for a week and then – POOF – over!

So, let me ask you – let’s assume the reading will be this week (again not trying to be morbid, just trying to keep your attention). And it doesn’t matter who reads it because you are the one that wrote it and left it for someone to share with whoever was present at your special event.

What does it say?  Is it short or long?  Is it positive or negative? Is it honest or is there a lot of stuff that’s not really true? Is it complimentary or sarcastic? Is it memorable or will people forget who you are before their next meal that day?

Tough questions?  Sad questions? Real questions? It’s up to you and not because of what you wrote but because that is how you lived that contributed to what you were able to write.

So, let me ask you five really tough questions –

1   

What is the central theme of the document?

Who do you want to read it and why them?

Do you want them to stay on script or adlib?

What impact do you want it to have on the recipients?

And finally, when people hear it do you want them to; laugh, cry, smile, leave the room halfway through it (just thought I would throw that one in for laughs) or stand and clap and scream - Halleluiah. . .

No one knows when their special day will happen.  No one knows what tomorrow will look like, and no one knows how or where their journey ends and what they will leave behind.  What we do know is how we choose to live each day and how we want to touch those around us and how our actions, attitudes, decisions, and behaviors touch the lives of people we know.  We can hope we will be remembered with respect, compassion, love, and smiles but we won’t really ever know for sure.

So, I’ll leave you with one of my life “mantras” – touch the lives you touch each day in a way that when you walk away or hit the end call button that the person you have spent time with – whether a minute or the entire day or your entire life – when asked about you will smile and say – “they were a special part of my life and I liked life and me more when I was with them”.