Reality is what it is - not what you want it to be!

Reality is what it is – not what you want it to be

Ever had a disagreement with someone? A spouse, customer, employee or even a total stranger?  Ever screamed at the TV as you listened to the rantings of some political Idiot?  Ever felt the stress of a relationship that was filled with tension or frustration?  I could go on with examples like this, but the question is – is there a common cause or contributor to all or each of these life situations, struggles or outcomes?

I have had more than my share of people come up to me after one of my speeches or seminars sharing their disagreements and/or opinions of what I talked about and how they felt I was wrong or just plain stupid – not kidding here.  Over the years I have spent a great deal of time and research trying to identify what the unique circumstances were that created these types of reactions, responses or behaviors when dealing with others whether in person or at a distance.  I finally figured it out.

The single biggest issue that contributes to poor communication, increased conflict, negative relationships, ineffective employee performance, declining health, bad decisions, lost business, ineffective management and declining organization success (need I go on?) - is simple but not complicated. In a word, it is “reality or truth”.

Let me explain.  Everyone has opinions, values, attitudes, prejudices, and beliefs that are grounded in personal experience, upbringing, conditioning, and education.  When blended into a person’s mindsets these create their personal sense of reality; what is, what is right, what is wrong, what needs to change etc. etc.  The problem gets even worse when people begin to believe that their sense of reality (the previous stuff and more) is the “reality” in other words all other views, opinions, attitudes, beliefs etc. are wrong, outdated, stupid, unnecessary or invalid because they are different than theirs. 

Imagine for a minute the last conflict you had with an employee, spouse or customer – I will guarantee its source was the attempt by both of you to validate your own opinion(s) and invalidate the other person’s.  Am I right? Due to current trends in Political Correctness, Social Media, The Selfie Generation we are very rapidly losing the ability to develop meaningful relationships – both business and personal – that are grounded in openness, understanding, tolerance, and respect. 

So, is there a simple answer to this life challenge?  Yes and no.  Yes, you can change, improve, grow, learn and mature but unfortunately, you can’t make the other person in a relationship do these according to your needs, expectations or rationales.  See the problem here?

Over the years in many of my presentations, I have subtly covered this topic, but I have decided it is time to give it the attention, focus, and independence it deserves.  So, if you are aware of any organization that would benefit from my latest addition to my seminar topics – Reality is what it is – not what you want it to be – let me know.  Just a brief overview of it below if you have an interest.  By the way, it can be a keynote or an all-day seminar.

During this session, Tim will cover topics such as;

-Behaviors that contribute to resistance when it comes to accepting differences and other’s realities.

-Why people close their minds to new, different and uncertain ideas, concepts and opinions.

-What we all lose when we choose to see the world from our own perspective only.

-How this issue contributes to poor communication, increased conflict and relationship breakdowns.

-Proven techniques to change these negative behaviors and attitudes.

-How to create a culture of openness and reality that is reality and not just a perceived reality.

-How to improve employee performance, customer loyalty, and marketing effectiveness but putting reality back into the business model.

And many others as deemed beneficial for the client and or audience.

Just a few takeaways from this session

-Improved employee performance, integrity-based communication and individual responsibility.

-Greater employee accountability and respect for others.

-Improved revenue, market share, and profits due to a culture of engagement and empowerment.

-Reduced conflict and less wasted time and resources due to improved awareness and responsiveness.

-The ability to maximize the impact and benefits of change and uncertainty by improved employee creativity and problem-solving.

 timspeaks4u@gmail.com