Does climbing the ladder of success require losing yourself

Does climbing the ladder of success

require losing yourself

Tim Connor

You may be familiar with a quote, “What good is it to climb the ladder of success if it’s leaning against the wrong building?”

Here’s my quote, “If you lose who you are as you climb the ladder of success, in the end you may gain success but was it worth it?”

Let’s get to the heart of this issue.

First of all success isn’t the destination but who you have become, what you have learned and whether you have enjoyed the journey.  Too many people sacrifice more than necessary to reach a place that they hope will give them contentment, happiness, financial freedom and inner peace but statistics over the years have proven again and again that just achieving wealth or financial independence isn’t a guarantee for happiness or satisfaction with life in general.

If you are not enjoying the thirty or forty year journey as you gain achievement and ultimate success (regardless of how you define it) what’s the point?

Life isn’t about the end but the process of moving toward the end.  Too many people look back with far too many regrets that they have finally discovered that it’s too late to change the past.

I can give you hundreds of stories or examples from my world travels where people sacrificed relationships, health, inner peace and general satisfaction with their life chasing an elusive future that has no guarantees that it will end as you want it to, need it to or feel you deserve.

Real success, like anything else that turns out correctly is an ongoing process not a single arrival or destination achieved.

Having recently spent 14 hours flying home from Greece I was amazed at how many people live the time they are given with frustration, impatience, anxiety and disappointment.  Yes, arriving safely was important but let me ask you a simple question – If you knew today was your last day of life what would you focus on, how would you spend your time, how would you treat others or just live your final hours?

With fear, anxiety, stress, frustration or disappointment or with joy, peace, happiness or a simple thank you for the life you were given?

Yes, the simple fact is that your answer will depend on how you have lived your past and are you ready to move on or are you leaving with regrets?

Back to the title – I’ll wager that as the years have passed your definition of success has changed or gone through a few transitions.  I’ll bet that your definition of success at 55 (if you have reached that age) is a great deal different than what it was at 25.  If you are 25 I’ll bet that when you reach 60 (and with luck and good fortune you will) you will look back and say – “Wow, I never saw that coming, I never thought _ _ _ _ _ , or who could have guessed _ _ _ _ _!”

We all are who we are and who we are becoming.  Some people will like you, some will love you, some will hate you and some won’t care either way who you are as life is about them and not you.

You have a right to be who you are (assuming you are not hurting other people in the process) and who you are becoming.  People who need the approval of others to be ok with themselves ultimately live with constant stress, low self-esteem, anxiety and disappointment.

We are all changing and growing but the question is – who should determine that path – yourself or others?  For me, I like who I am and on a few occasions in my past I sacrificed that because I believed that was my role or responsibility as a parent, spouse, son or business owner to behave as was expected.

As a speaker and trainer I have been in front of over a million people in 25 countries and I’ll guarantee you that some didn’t like me or my style or approach and that some did, but in the end at the end of the day I had to look in the mirror and say to myself – “Have I been true to me or have I sacrificed that in the name of success, acceptance, wealth or political correctness?”

In the end, we are all on our very personal journey and in the end if we lose who we are I believe we lose everything.

I was not put on this earth for your approval.  I was not put here to be what or who you think I should be - I was put here to be me whatever that means.

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and

liking how you do it.”

Maya Angelou