The idol of certainty

The idol of certainty

Tim Connor

“The only thing in life that is certain is its uncertainty” – Oswald Chambers.

Need more control of your life? The future? Good luck with that. Yes, there are many aspects of our life and future we can control – I challenge you make a list!

You eat right, exercise every day, work hard, respect others, save routinely, spend wisely etc and you assume with these “right” behaviors you will have a long, prosperous and healthy life.  Wrong.  Yes these behaviors improve your chance of a long, successful and worthwhile life but let me ask you – do you think there are thousands maybe even millions of people who have followed these rules who suddenly had a traumatic situation in their life they didn’t expect or see coming?  Like – a hurricane, flood or tornado that destroyed everything they owned in a matter of minutes?  Like an auto accident where they were an innocent victim? Like a job loss due to a company downsizing or merger or acquisition?

These examples are numerous and are all outside of our control.  So why do so many people keep themselves in stress mode over all this stuff they can’t control and hope won’t happen to them?

To be honest, I would love to have more control over many of my life and career circumstances but over time and due to continued situations that I didn’t expect or want I have learned to surrender to God the things I can’t control and ask for his guidance to better handle the things I can.

Think about it for a moment – the concept of control – what really is it?  Is it the need to predict outcomes, the desire to determine the results of your decisions, the ego need to believe that in the end you have total power to manage all of your life circumstances so they all turn out according to your expectations?

I believe that the need for control is a form of Idolatry or addiction driven by fear, a lack of faith and little confidence or self-belief.  Stuff happens to all of us and a lot of this stuff on the surface can appear to be dramatic, traumatic or negative but I ask you to look back at areas where you had no control and things over time worked out.

Yes, there are many situations that have happened to all of us where we feel they were unfair, unwarranted or even unjust causing us to feel like victims but I believe that stuff happens for a reason and we may never know the reasons, but in the end we have a choice – whine, complain, agonize or let these situations strengthen us, help us to learn or just become wiser.  These are not always easy, but over the years I have studied the lives of numerous people who have had significant positive impact on the world and human life and in every case these people often faced significant challenges and even heartbreaking circumstances but used this uncertainty to grow, change, improve, learn and begin again.

What is your life approach to uncertainty? Do you use it as a tool to improve or as an excuse to blame, wait or withdraw?

Do you know someone that is addicted to control?  Are they happy?  Stressed? Angry? Filled with regret? Spend a great deal of emotional energy in disappointment?

Control is an obsession for many people and it often takes a great deal of pain even failure for them to finally realize that life isn’t always the way they think it should be or they deserve or want.  But in the end like it or not – life or God is in control of most of our life’s opportunities, challenges and outcomes.  We can resist or we can flow.  My experience has taught me to take aggressive control of what is within my power and to let go of all of the stuff that isn’t like – other people’s reactions or responses, goals that for whatever reason are not achieved, disappointments that just keep on coming, emails that are not responded to, telephone calls that are not returned, promises by others that are not honored, drivers who cut me off, lines I didn’t expect – got the picture – life happens - in spite of all of my effort, prayer and hope.

How about you - surrendered yet or still spending time in stress mode trying to manipulate the actions of others and the world?

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is absurd.”

Voltaire