Looking back in time – is now what you expected

Looking back in time – is now what you expected

Tim Connor

If you could go back in time – kind of like the plot in “Back to the Future” what would you change knowing what you know now or having full awareness of what you have learned and experienced during the years up to this point?

Made some mistakes you would like to correct?

Had some failures you would have liked to avoid?

Missed taking advantage of some opportunities that you had?

Mishandled obstacles?

Not learned some valuable lessons?

I could go on with more questions like this but I’m sure I have made my point – how is your life today – career, relationships, finances, health etc not what you expected, planned for or wanted.  Yes there is a reverse to this  how is your life better that you could have imagined in these same areas, but my experience as a speaker, coach and trainer over the years has taught me that most people have more disappointments and regrets about the past and its consequences or present outcomes than positive interpretations.

If you are not in the negative category I salute you as a mature life learner and one who has dealt with reality and circumstances that you didn’t want or deserve in a positive and confident way.  But let me repeat – I believe you are in the minority of the human race and why?

For starters we all want happiness, success, health and enduring relationships, but all too often life throws all of us curves, challenges, obstacles and situations that we must face, overcome or at least manage in a proactive rather than reactive way.

I have never met anyone who said they hoped their life was worse in the future in some way.  Everyone wants better but the question is how do we define better?

So let me ask you again – looking back – what would you change hoping the outcomes would have been better or more positive?

I for one, as an author and speaker don’t like to live with regret but I have to be honest and admit that in looking back I would have made several different choices, but here’s’ the ultimate problem – we don’t know what different choices would have manifested or created – yes things would be different today but do we have any guarantee they would have been better?  No we don’t.

Let’s say you would have made a different career choice. Would you be better or worse off today because of it? You will never know.

Let’s say you made a different relationship choice.  Would it have ended in a life filled with relationship bliss?  You will never know.

Let’s say you saved more money over the years.  Would you be better off financially today? You will never know. 

Got it – the choices and decisions you made led you to where you are today.  Different choices and decisions would have led you somewhere else, but we will never know whether this other place would have been better, worse or the same?  Not being negative here but, why do so many people live with regret and disappointment about their past letting these attitudes and mindsets negatively impact their present and future?

The past is gone.  Yes, we all made mistakes.  Yes, we all could have used our time, resources and relationships more productively but – it is what it is.  I’m not in any way suggesting that we should settle, give up or in or not change for the better in some way but in the end our personal history is our personal history.

Would I like to have more money?  Sure.  Would I like to be famous? Maybe.  Would I like to have learned my lessons easier and sooner, you bet but in the end all we can do is take what we have and life has given us and use it to get stronger, wiser, smarter and better.

I’ll close with a question.  If you could change your future for the better by changing something you are doing or not doing now - would you do it?  Would you stop doing it? Are you doing it?

“This time, like all times, is a very good time- if we but know what to do with it.”

Emerson