Pleasure, happiness or joy - you choose.

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Pleasure, Happiness or Joy . . .

You Choose!

Tim Connor

Let’s start with a few definitions.  First official and then mine.

Pleasure – recreation, relaxation, or amusement, especially as distinct from work or everyday routine. Gratification of the senses, especially sexual gratification.  A feeling of delight, or satisfaction.  Mine – Temporary satisfaction, fun or contentment.

Happiness – resulting unexpectedly in something pleasant or welcome.  Gladness, cheerfulness or delight.  .  Mine – Temporary feelings of satisfaction, control, inner peace, acceptance or approval.

Joy – Bliss, ecstasy, elation joyfulness.  Mine – An easy and patient approach to life that is grounded in more than superficial or exterior circumstances.  Inner delight rather than outer delight.

Ok, you ask - based on the above all seem very similar.  Well yes and no.  How about I shared a bit more and then you can decide which you prefer to have in your life.

Pleasure and happiness are generally the result of outside-in situations, circumstances or people.  They are both fleeting depending on what is going on day to day or minute to minute.  Neither last more than a few minutes, hours or at the most a few days. They are superficial at best.  Your favorite team wins.  Your child’s graduation.  A promotion. A new relationship begins. A week long vacation.  Get it?  All of these over time lose their influence on our attitudes, feelings or emotions.  Also, they all depend on something or someone else – not you.

Joy on the other hand is a mindset that fills every waking moment of every day regardless of what is going on around you – positive or negative.

If you can’t bring a joy mindset to even the worst of life’s experiences then you are not living with joy but the other two and your reaction will always be dependent on things going well or right.

The best way to go through life is letting joy fill every waking moment of every day regardless of the challenges, disappointment or frustration that you are facing.  Impossible you say?  Read on.

I don’t need to cover any more information dealing with pleasure or happiness – you know when you are feeling both and why.   Ah ha but joy, now that’s an entirely different story.

First let me ask you on a 1 – 10 scale where would you score your joy right now?  10?  Come on – get serious no one is perfect.  1? Come on no one can be that discouraged and be reading this article.  Getting higher?  OK.  Going lower?  OK.  The question is – what mindsets, attitudes, beliefs or emotions tend to determine your level of joy now, in the past, next week or next year?  Let’s talk about it.

Joy is not dependant on your level of happiness or pleasure, if it is it isn’t joy you own but something else.  So what are the factors that contribute to joy?  Let me discuss just two.

Your spiritual life –

There are many ways to define joy but for me it’s trusting God for the gifts I receive every minute.  It is not my intent to define joy from your perspective but I ask you – do you only feel joy when life is going well or do you feel joy for just your every day gifts – 80,000 heartbeats a day, over 40,000 breaths a day, the ability to think, create – I could list thousands of blessings that each of us receive that most people take for granted.  But consider – at some point you will experience your last breath and you don’t know when that will be so until then are you filled with gratitude for life’s simple blessings?

Two questions to consider - are you a joy giver?  Do you live each moment with thanks or are you taking all of your gifts for granted?  Why not take some time and make a list of all of your blessings on one side of the page and all your challenges/problems on the other side.  I will guarantee - that no matter what your current life circumstances are – that you’re blessing list will be a whole lot longer than your challenge/problem list.

If this is the case consider that people who live with a mindset of joy; live longer, smile and laugh more, get sick less and generally leave a more positive life legacy than those who live with guilt, resentment, anger or blame.

Your mental life –

The mind runs everything in your life; good, bad or neutral. First we think something then these thoughts drive emotions and feelings.  These emotions then cause actions, decisions or behavior.  See the problem here?  If you are not controlling your thoughts you are letting your responses – emotions – determine the quality of your life.

If you want more joy it’s not learning to control your emotions but learning to control your thoughts.  Easy? No. Necessary if you want to experience joy?  Yes.

You decide – where are you now, where are you routinely and would you like to change something, anything, everything?  You choose.

“We choose our joys and sorrows long before

we experience them.”

Gibran