Uncertainty
– managing the future
Tim
Connor
Oswald Chambers once said, “The only thing that is certain
is uncertainty.”
Uncertainty definition – “the state of being uncertain - times of uncertainty and
danger." Well, that was really helpful.
Here’s
mine – When we don’t know what the future, whether the next minute or the next
year, has in store for us, will challenge us, help us, support us or cause
chaos for us or is either positive, neutral or negative.
A little better, but definitions can often be challenging
since words can be interpreted differently by everyone. For example – how would you define;
challenge, the future, problems, success, failure, or uncertainty? OK on with the details (if you are still with
me).
In times of uncertainty we have three options; wait, quit,
or act. Let’s first look at each from a
short perspective. Waiting in some situations is stupid and in others a wise
choice - what’s the difference? If you are waiting to act for something you
can’t control, want to improve or disappear it’s wise. If you are waiting for outcomes for something
you can have influence or creative responses over - stupid. How about quitting?
Quitting can be either wise or stupid.
Quitting is stupid if you have failed to evaluate, consider, or
effectively interpret circumstances. It
is wise if you have exhausted all your options, resources, approaches, and
energy, and you just can’t change or improve the future outcomes no matter
what. And finally, you can act. Acting when you have limited experience,
resources, energy, time, skills, desire, clear direction, goals, etc. is
stupid. If you have all of these and are
filled with confidence and resilience acting is wise. So regardless of whether
a situation requires quitting, acting, or waiting the common thread is wisdom’s
ingredients. And what are these - when in doubt listen to your gut, inner
voice, heart, and consciousness.
Let’s take a more in-depth look at your three options and
their benefits and consequences.
There are five concepts however that you need to consider
before we dig into the details.
1) The
number one contributor to death is stress. The number one contributor to stress
is impatience. The number one contributor to impatience is the need for
control. And the number one contributor
to the need for control is fear of the unknown.
2) Doing
anything - driving, eating, exercising, working, etc. faster does not give you
one more minute of life.
3) Everything
changes evolves, ends, grows, or dies sooner or later.
4) Letting
uncertainty in the future have a negative impact on your present will
contribute to a life-time negative impact on your past.
5) Everything
in life has consequences; some are positive and some are negative. Some are short-term while others can take
years or even a lifetime to materialize.
OK, let’s take a more detailed look at; quitting, acting,
and waiting.
Quitting – Ever quit anything too soon – a relationship, a
project a hobby? Quitting is only easy when you have given up – emotionally,
financially, physically, etc. The problem is that most people don’t want to
quit, they just want to want to quit.
See the difference? We want the
option to bail when we feel circumstances, results or expectations don’t equal
our goals or actions.
To be honest, I have quit a few times when in hindsight
years later looked back I realized I should have hung in there just a bit
longer with more energy, more patience, more resolve, or more tolerance. Been there?
Uncertainty can create a great deal of emotional tension
that many feel the need to manage or fix with action now, decisions now,
something now, anything now. Sometimes immediate action vs. quitting can be
beneficial but far too often quick or knee-jerk responses to challenges or
unknowns can lead to disaster, unnecessary failure, or costs emotionally,
financially, or physically that could have been avoided.
So, how do we know when not quitting is the right or best
option to uncertainty or unknowns. You are not going to like my answer but here
it is anyway – it depends. Depends on
what Tim? It depends on your degree of commitment, investment, patience, a
willingness to let go or surrender, your ability to learn before you quit, and
your desire to ensure that whatever the outcome – it will be better than giving
up or throwing in the towel.
No one knows what lies around the next corner in
life. Oh sure you can try and predict,
hope, dream, work like crazy and pray but in the end, life is uncertain every
single day of your life. After over forty years of speaking around the world, I
have learned a great deal but one thing stands out – if you can control it – do
something – if you can’t control it – chill, relax, breathe and use the time to
learn, grow and get wiser. But quitting is far too often pre-mature and stupid
without adequate evaluation, consideration, research, etc. I hope you notice
the connection between these three options – quitting, waiting, and action. If not you have missed the central message in
this article. They are all connected in one way or another. The secret is to learn to make the best use
of the combination of the three options.
Keep reading and it will come to you.
Waiting – Ever had to wait for a call from your Doctor
with the results of a biopsy? How about a decision from a potential new
employer where you have applied for the job of a lifetime? Or a client who is
considering making the biggest purchase of one of your products in your career
history? Or how about little ones – a retuned call from a potential new date
candidate for a possible relationship? Or, just an email or text response from
one of your kids? This list of things we
wait for is endless and I will guarantee as you are reading this article you
are waiting for something from someone or something.
A basic fundamental of the character of uncertainty is –
no one knows; when where, how, if, whether, etc. All we can do is hope, dream, pray, and yes
wait. But there are two kinds of
waiting. One is with wisdom,
intelligence, and maturity and the other is with pride, arrogance, ego, or
impatience. Which tends to be your
approach?
The outcomes to both are significantly different.
Waiting with wisdom or intelligence is grounded in
knowledge, experience, accurate information, and common sense. Waiting with the
other approach leads to stress, resentment, blame, anger, regret, and
disappointment. Yes, sometimes there are actions we can take while we wait and
other times - all we can do is just wait.
Trust me I understand the concept of waiting. After
speaking in 25 countries and I only speak English – trust me – I have had to
wait a lot for a lot of things and didn’t even know what I was waiting for or
why.
Been there?
Keep in mind - you can’t control the weather, the stock
market, others’ behavior, the traffic behind you, or in front of you, need I go
on? One thing I have noticed about mature people is their ability to wait when
they can’t control stuff. One of my life
mantras is simply – ‘I will not let your behavior determine my behavior’. Is this always easy – no way. When I am traveling the speed limit and an
idiot is behind me on my tail beeping at me and flashing their lights for me to
go faster, it’s not always easy to just ignore these idiots.
Waiting style demonstrates a person’s maturity, common
sense, wisdom, and intelligence.
Acting – And the last action – acting.
There are four elements involved in acting and they are – the
how, the when, the who, and the where. For example, let’s say you were just
laid off from your position. Your spouse doesn’t work, you have three kids and
a lot of bills and the economy is sucking wind.
I know I have been there – twice.
No one is hiring, you have limited special skills and
limited cash to self-promote yourself. So, the four elements mentioned above.
How – You have to earn some cash so the kids don’t starve.
Part-time job, two part-time jobs, reach out to family or friends, file
bankruptcy, sell your house, take a job as a dishwasher in a restaurant, live
on unemployment as long as it lasts – the options are limited or unlimited
depending on your definition of your circumstances. And your definition will
determine how you respond. The answer – spend a few hours every month reading,
learning, growing in important life areas and I’m not talking here about
survival tactics but just “life stuff” like improving skills in communication,
emotional maturity, negotiation, money management, etc.
The when – do you have time to wait, reflect, consider,
etc. or do you need to do something now? The when will determine how you handle
the “how”. The answer – Read the book “The Power of Patience” by Ryan.
The where – This one can vary depending on the
circumstances – where you live, where you work, where you play, where you do
anything or everything. The answer – if you live in the city, now and then take
road trips into the suburbs or the country to get familiar with different
areas. Once a year I take a week road trip to a new area within 500 miles of
where I live. If you live in the country, now and then spend a weekend in the
city. And why – to get rid of any fears about areas you are unfamiliar with.
The who - This one depends on your relationships with;
family, friends, neighbors, fellow workers, customers, employees, etc. If you have people you can count on or ask
for help, guidance, etc. consider yourself fortunate as many people lack these
resources and have to go through uncertainty and challenges alone – again I’m
not preaching to the choir – I’ve been there. Sometimes, even if you have these
resources you might be unable to ask for help for any number of reasons. The
answer – spend time developing relationships with people you can count on if
you ever need help, support, or guidance in the future. And, find ways to be of
value and service to others who may some day come to you for help.
Well, that’s it - during uncertain times, and I am
familiar with them having been through four recessions during my speaking
career, you can; give in, point the finger, whine, blame, or learn, grow,
change, adapt and win. It’s a choice.