Life’s Eight Essential Ingredients! Tim Connor

Life’s Eight Essential Ingredients!

Tim Connor

Life for some people is an easy day to day experience filled with joy, success, contentment, and love but for many, each day brings new or different challenges that force them to surrender to people or circumstances they can’t control and even give in or quit because they don’t have the resolve, purpose, faith or courage to overcome.

There are multiple traits, attitudes, values, and skills that can help each of us weather life’s storms and emerge each day victorious but I believe there are eight that are critical for everyone to master regardless of age, gender, race, economic status or health and they are; wisdom, discernment, a spiritual foundation, responsibility, integrity, action, courage, and resilience.  Yes, there are many more but over the years I have learned that if I can master these then even if I am void of any others I can still overcome, prevail, survive and look back on my life with peace.

But first why have I chosen just these eight as the essentials? Well, it wasn’t easy as I have been on a very active journey for over forty years of study, learning, evaluating, growing, overcoming, and considering.  I read on average - two books a week (and have for many years) by a wide variety of authors and I have learned a great deal about what does matter and what doesn’t in life (no I am not going to tell you how to live your life).  What works and what doesn’t and what to practice and what to let go of. 

Let me add however that I am not there yet, not even close as life is an ongoing lifelong process of learning and unlearning, letting go and hanging on to, losing and winning and growing and staying stuck. I am a student of life and not by any means an expert. 

I chose these seven for three reasons. 1) What have I learned that I wish I had learned earlier. 2)What have I learned that has made life more peaceful and filled with joy and 3) What have I learned that I wish I had avoided or let go of sooner.

So, now the eight.

Wisdom – First – wisdom is not information, intelligence, maturity, insight, character, knowledge, experience, or lessons learned.  It is the willingness and ability to blend all of these into a lifestyle that contributes to success, happiness, inner peace, contentment, and ease of living no matter what you have faced, dealt with, overcome, or has hit you like a 2x4 when you weren’t looking.  It’s the ability to face all circumstances, situations, people, failure, adversity and pain with a life view that shouts – I can’t control everything or everyone but I can control myself and I can learn to lean on God for guidance and not my self-sufficiency whether I am faced with trials and struggle or success and prosperity.  Wisdom is simply living wisely according to what is and not what was, or you hope will one day be.

We all want success and happiness, but we don’t always get to choose what will bring these to us.  We all want less adversity, struggle, and pain but we are the ones who get to decide what it means, how we react to it, what we learn and how it impacts every area of our life.  That my friends are wisdom.

Discernment – The ability to determine what is important, relevant, or necessary to achieve a worthwhile life includes the ability to choose wisely.  Today we have hundreds if not thousands of options, choices, and directions we could go but just because it’s easy, quick, or good doesn’t make it right.  Discernment is the ability to consider both the short-term impact of choices, decisions, and actions.  

When you live with this as a mindset you will live with less regret, disappointment, and frustration.  It doesn’t mean you will have fewer problems or even less failure, but you will be better equipped to deal with these when you choose with maturity, consideration, and a sense of reality.

A spiritual foundation – I’m not just referring here to religion, but a belief system grounded in a belief in God or a higher power. I believe it is necessary to have faith in God, but He also expects us to have faith in ourselves, our desires, dreams, and goals.  By this, I am by no means suggesting that our human faith in life will ever equal, replace or dismiss our faith in God but without faith in ourselves, it is very difficult to have faith in anything else.  A spiritual foundation grounds you in a certain degree of ethics, morals, and behavior that in the end will accelerate your life journey in the right direction.  I  have met hundreds of people around the world who lack a spiritual system or belief foundation and one common thing I noticed with all of them was their attitude that when things worked out they took the credit and when things didn’t they always blamed something or someone. They didn’t understand the basic premise that we are all broken and the only way to get fixed is to have a mindset that is grounded in something higher than ourselves i.e. God.

Integrity – We are living in a world that is filled with uncertainty, a lack of congruence when it comes to words and actions and is riddled with greed and self-absorption. And the ultimate consequences are a lack of personal, relationship, and business integrity.  Yes, many people say what they mean and mean what they say, but often separating these folks from the majority of society is becoming very difficult.  Integrity is becoming a lost behavior in many ways in areas of society and the outcomes are – chaos, dysfunction, emotional outbursts, and a lack of trust to mention a few.  Integrity is doing what is right not what you think or believe is right as “right” can be defined differently by everyone.  It is honoring basic fundamental human beliefs and values that add trustworthiness to relationships and human value.

Resilience – Quitting is easy.  Giving up is no challenge. Letting go – no problem.  Surrender – better than continuing g to feel the pain. OK, so why is resilience so important? I could go on for pages but a quick answer is; if you give yourself the option to quit or give in while pursuing a dream, goal or outcome do you think that the attitude of possible quitting if things get tough might just influence your actions or journey towards your desired outcome in a negative way? YES - it will. Resilience is a test of your commitment, dedication, resolve, purpose, mission, and ultimately how your personal life journey ends.

Responsibility – Responsibility is all about integrity, self-esteem, and looking in the mirror rather than pointing your finger at someone or something else. Ultimately the responsibility is a definite indication of your maturity and courage to fail, admit mistakes, and take whatever comes at you for the outcomes you created or contributed to. I don’t know how my life will end – broke or a millionaire but either way – I get the credit, or I take the responsibility.  I did it.  

And you know what – your life is the same – no matter how it turns out you can blame all you want but – you did it.

Courage – There are many ways to define courage – physical courage, emotional courage, mental courage, career courage, communication courage – need I go on? What are the common traits regardless of the type of courage life is asking you to demonstrate? Here are a few to consider; self-responsibility (you don’t behave, act, decide, believe, function based on other’s expectations, demands, or often even rules) you are guided by an inner sense of values based on integrity, wisdom, and respect. You are not afraid of failure, regardless of how others define it. You keep going as long as the end makes sense and you believe it is possible to achieve. And finally, you can adapt, adjust, modify, change, and grow as you move forward. You do this not driven by fear or the need for approval but because you realize nothing is certain and to achieve success you must be willing to grow, let go, and embrace the unknown.

Action – Decisions, goals, dreams, and plans without actions are meaningless. You would be amazed at how many people want better life outcomes in some areas of their lives and plan, dream, and hope but never act.  What’s the point in spending time in these activities if you fail to move forward?  Action does not guarantee success or failure, ease or struggle, positive or negative results but one thing is for sure – without it, you will never achieve anything.  Let me repeat to achieve you must act.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s losing weight, becoming a millionaire, or finding life joy and happiness – you have to act.  

Acting is never easy as it never guarantees you the results or outcomes you desire but often the process can teach you about what matters in life.  In other words, if you act and as you move forward you feel less comfortable with your outcomes along the way it may be time to let go of something and embrace something else or new.  But in the end sooner or later you must act if you want to achieve anything.

Why not consider these and how you are doing when it comes to the quality of your life?  Go for it, what have you got to lose.