Is the grass really greener on the other side of the street?

Is the grass really greener over there?

Tim Connor

Is the grass really greener on the other side of the street?  Do the people over there that you observe day in and day out; have more fun, better relationships, more rewarding careers, fewer problems or just have better lives in general?  Are they content or are they looking at your side of the street wondering the same things about you?  If you switched sides would both of you be any happier? Have less stress? Find your life’s dream in the front yard?

Consider for a moment – maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the street because they are using better fertilizer, weeding more often and watering regularly.  Maybe they are just taking better care of their lawn (life) than you are.  I’m sure I don’t need to give you hundreds of words and unlimited illustrations for you to get this simple analogy.

Most people are searching for only a few fundamental things in life.  I believe the significant ones are to be loved and to give love, acceptance for who they are and who they are becoming, appreciation, validation, respect and the opportunity to be happy, successful, safe and content. All of the other stuff you and I say we want - and the list is far too long to share here - is often just an elusive dream.

It could be time to start doing a better job of nurturing your own lawn, garden (life) than the people you seem to envy are doing.

Having been in front of over a million people in my global audiences over the years I can tell you that after hundreds if not thousands of discussions everyone wishes they had something better or different in their life, career, finances, business or relationships.  And yet – they keep searching outside themselves for the answers, solutions or results. 

Suffice it to say that you will never get everything you want “out there” until you do a better job of fertilizing, growing and nurturing your “in there.”  What are you searching for now or have you been looking for, hoping for or dreaming about for years that is still evading you or that is missing in your life?  Let’s take a brief look at just a few of these: 

Love: Everyone wants to love someone and be loved by someone.  It is a deep yearning in every heart, the desire for real and lasting love.  Not just romantic love, not egotistical love, not superficial love, not manipulative love just real unconditional love from the heart.

Acceptance: I believe everyone wants to feel like they are o.k. just the way they are, that they don’t need to change anything, according to your expectations, to be accepted by you. I can be me and it's o.k.  You don't have to like it, but you can learn to accept it or live with it. No one was put on this earth for the approval of others.  Yes, we all can grow and be better, wiser, smarter, nicer, etc. but that’s up to us and not those in our lives.

Appreciation:  Real appreciation, given from the heart with no agendas or expectations is one of the real needs of the human spirit. Appreciation says you care, are aware of what other's do, are interested in showing them that they matter.  Everyone does something every day for others and I guarantee that they feel they should be appreciated for it.  I am not saying here that you should spend every waking minute giving appreciation to someone who is insecure, needy or egotistical.  No matter how much you give them it will never be enough.

Validation:  There are so many ways we invalidate people.  We interrupt them, we forget to do things for them that we promised we would, we don’t listen to them, we do all of the talking when we are with them, we don’t give them credit for having anything worthwhile to say, feel and we take credit for their ideas.  We constantly say to them: you should, why don't you, you need to - this list my friends is endless.  One way to know if you are with an invalidator is: how do you feel when you are around them?  Do you like yourself more or less when in their presence?  When we invalidate others, we say to them - you don’t matter.

Respect: Not everyone will go to the moon, invent a cure for cancer or become a billionaire but we all deserve the respect of others regardless of our race, education, religion, age, looks, etc.  This doesn’t mean we agree with them or even like them, but respect is not about liking or loving.  When you judge another person that doesn’t define them – it defines you.

So, let me ask you – is it time to buy some more or better-quality fertilizer for your lawn?