What’s missing in your life?

What’s missing in your life?

Tim Connor

OK, so you have it all; a great career or business, all the financial resources you need to handle your expenses and desires, excellent health, great relationships and happiness, inner peace and contentment – come on – no one has everything.

So, what’s missing in your life or to put this another way, what would like more of, less of or better in order to feel you have it all?

OK if I haven’t lost you yet – if you can sit there and say nothing is missing in your life to feel totally; safe, content, satisfied and in control of every aspect of your life - in my opinion, no disrespect to anyone, you are living in Fantasyland, La La Land or have some serious denial issues.

One last time – what’s missing in your life?  What would you like to change, do, improve, let go of, obtain, feel, achieve etc?

I’ll wager that if you are still with me regardless of your answer to this question there is a void or sense of tension somewhere in your life.  I’m not going to dig into all of the possibilities, reasons, desires or goals that could plague a person in search of perfect, rather just consider two questions and then it’s your turn to do some serious inner work if you want the future to be different in any way.

What’s missing?

Why is it that so many people feel that if they just had more money or stuff life would be good, great, better or perfect?  There are many reasons but here are just three; Insecurity, ego dominance or the need for approval of others.  If I had a better job I would be more respected.  If I had a better car people would see me as successful, if I looked younger I would be more appealing to others.  Need I go on?  All of these needs can be grounded in some way in these three issues.

Let’s say you have it all but just can’t seem to let go of anything.  In other words you define yourself by what you have or own.

During my world travels for years I have met many very wealthy people but I found it interesting - their need to make sure I was aware of their status, wealth or power.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong or evil with owning the best of the best, just that when this begins to define you or if you lost it, it would define you even more accurately by your reactions to this loss – you have a serious problem.

Why is it that so many people will sacrifice health, family and self-esteem to climb the ladder of success?

Why is it that many people______? Yes, you can fill in the blank with hundreds of wants/needs and the question is still the same – does this define who you are, how you want to be perceived or what you need to believe “life is good”?

I know you might feel I didn’t answer the above question, but that’s not my role or responsibility – this is a question you need to ask and answer with integrity and honesty.

Why is it missing?

There could be hundreds of reasons why what you need, desire or want is absent in your life, currently but I’ll bet the reason is one of the following.

You feel or believe you deserve it.

You feel or believe that you have earned it.

You feel it will make you appear to others as a better, smarter, wiser or wealthier person.

Let me ask you – If your desire is greater wealth and you won the lottery, is that all it would take to satisfy your need or desire?  Pogo once said, “Everywhere you go, there you are”.  It’s a fact that within 5-7 years all major lottery winners are bankrupt… so I guess there was more to successful, contented and a happy life than money!

I say – go for it – chase the wealth, fame power, influence or whatever you feel you want, however – be careful not to put your total definition of the quality of life in this one accomplishment, achievement or category.  You will pay a price down the road – somewhere at some point.

“Circumstances do not determine who a person is,

they define who they are.”

Holmes