What’s Your Story?
Tim Connor
We all have
a story. What’s yours? Let me explain.
As the years
pass we tend to develop our life story and I’m not referring here to the
events, circumstances or outcomes during life, but the story we have come to
believe about ourselves and what we tell others.
Think about
it for a moment . . . what are some of the things you tell others about your
life or experiences and lessons that is totally made up and contrived that you
for whatever reason have come to believe as truth?
We all do it
- not always to mislead others, but often to make ourselves look good or
justify our mistakes, lessons or even our successes.
Let me give
you a personal example.
Over forty
years ago when I was in the Air Force I won the Guam track meet for the discuss
and qualified to go to the Olympic trials in Japan. I came in 3rd
and didn’t make the cut to go to the Olympics representing the Air Force. But my story over the years became the
following, “I qualified coming in second but the base commander on the base I
was serving wouldn’t give me leave time to participate.” A lie?
A misrepresentation? Call it what
you want, but over the years I came to believe the story I told others from
time to time as true even though I knew it wasn’t. A big deal? Not in my personal opinion but
still – it wasn’t the truth. Did this story hurt anyone? No. But, as time passed it became easier and easier
to tell this false story as I had convinced myself that it was true.
Are there
other stories in my life that I fudge?
Of course. Do you do it? Well if
you don’t think so you are in total denial.
Why do we
all do this as we develop the stories of our life? Is it the need for
acceptance? Is it some inner emotional lack or something simpler? I believe for
each of us the reasons my vary, but in the end each of us have in some way
adjusted our versions of truth for a personal agenda.
As a speaker
giving presentations worldwide for many years I have developed many stories to
illustrate some of the points in my message.
Are they all one hundred percent accurate? No. Does it matter? Well, as long as they
illustrate my points in a clear way and are insignificant when it comes to my
life do they hurt me or others? Before
you answer that question I would ask you to consider the many variations of
your life stories that you have come to believe and share and their ultimate
impact on others.
I’m not
talking here about pre-determined lies with the purpose of furthering a
personal agenda, but simple insignificant examples, illustrations or lessons
that you have come to use to help you make some sense of your life and its
mistakes, failures or even successes.
We all fudge
from time to time. We all forget the
details of our past life once in a while, but we all need our stories to make
sense to us so we often fill in the gaps of our experiences, lessons or
circumstances with made up information so the stories make sense if not to
others at least to us.
Come on . .
. if you are over forty even thirty do you think you remember all of the
details of something that happened twenty years ago? Think about it – if you
are forty that’s over 14,000 days you have lived and add to that the hours and
that’s over 350,000 hours . . . get real . . .do you think you have an accurate
memory when it comes to everything that you did or happened for over a quarter
of a million hours of life?
Our stories
are ours, we own them and often they shape our attitudes, mindsets, actions,
decisions and choices. The unimportant
ones don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but the question remains – are
some of your stories hurting others in some way or your success, happiness or
continued personal development and growth?
“We do not
choose our own parts in life, and have nothing to do with selecting those
parts. Our simple duty is confined to
playing them well.”
Epictetus
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