Everything Ends (on
earth that is.)
Tim Connor
Ever
experienced an ending? A relationship – a career – a business – a way of life –
or any major or minor life situation?
The answer for everyone is – Yes.
Having
experienced a number of endings during my life I was thinking today about how
temporary life is (on earth that is).
Last year I
wrote a book (not published yet) called endings are just new beginnings in
disguise. The basic message is simply that sooner or later everything ends
whether a career, relationship or your life.
I am not going to delve into the spiritual realm of endings as I believe
that death is also a new beginning and not an ending but in this article I
would like to focus on how short lived and temporary everything in this life
really is.
Why do we
fear endings? Why are so many of them so
painful and why do some things seem to come to an end before their time or we
are ready for them? So many questions
when it comes to the reasons for endings in life but let me share a couple of
simple yet profound ideas with you that if you are currently dealing with an
ending or can’t let go of the pain from a previous ending that might help –
they are helping me.
Endings
first and foremost are teachers trying to get us to learn one of life’s basic
tenants – life is short so live life to the fullest while you can so you can leave
with as few regrets as possible. They
want to teach us to learn to embrace the joy, blessings and adventure of a
situation (relationship, career or general life circumstance) while it is
present in our life. It wants us to
learn to move into the next chapter of our life with courage, faith, hope and
understanding. It wants to teach us to
learn to embrace what we have while we have it – for many not an easy task –
thus the endings we must all endure.
Endings are
a routine part of life and you can’t escape them but what you can do is be a
willing student as you pass through each ending regardless of its cause or
circumstances. If we fail to learn what
an ending is trying to teach us it is guaranteed that sooner or later we will
face a similar ending that will be just as painful as the previous one.
What else are
endings trying to teach us? It depends on the unique mindsets, attitudes and
values that you have but in general I believe they are hoping we will learn to;
trust God and life, accept all He brings into our life with a simple thank you
and that we need to finally grasp that there is only one thing that doesn’t end
and that is our relationship with Him.
I have lost
parents and many friends and peers to death during my life and only a few of
them lived each and every day with peace, joy, passion, gratitude and
compassion while others were wrapped up in the temporary nature and perceived
value of things or stuff they owned, desired or had lost for some reason.
Endings are
the one certainty in life that you can’t avoid and if we will let them they
will serve a valuable growth lesson enabling us to say goodbye to many of
life’s circumstances, people and memories with poise, maturity, love and
understanding.
The second
thing that is valuable in an ending is your willingness and ability to look
deep inside yourself to determine who you are, what you value, what you really
want from life and why you have it or are still searching for it.
Introspection
and self-evaluation is the only reliable approach to changing something in your
life. You can read hundreds of books,
attend seminars until you are blue in the face but if you are unwilling to
bring the learned concepts and ideas inside yourself for careful and thorough
contemplation the learning and the time spent learning will be of ultimate
little value. All inner change requires
preparation, persistence, practice and self-accountability none of which are
easy when you have a history of opposite behavior, attitudes or mindsets.
Endings can
be a great source for learning as when in emotional pain we are capable of
tremendous strides forward if we will but make the necessary effort.
“And in the end it’s not the
years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
Abe Lincoln
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